[moondog1957]

Still trying to figure out how to post or start a new thread. Just want to chat really.

My ****.... married 22 yrs. I thought we had thd dream. She got to stay home and raise our 3 beautiful boys... never had to work outside the home. We weren't rich, but comfortable. I get divorce papers out of the blue... she still hasnt explainex why 3 years later. She wont speak to me. Her 15 yr younger bf is now living the house im still paying for but no longer allowed inside.
I just got fired from a job of 13 years... no explanation there either. They hired a kid much younger and cheaper. NC is a "Right to work state" meaning they can terminate you for no reason at all and you have no recourse.
I have 2 goals every day.... get out of bed and dont eat a bullit. Ive only been successful with the 2nd.
my 17 yo doesnt speak to me either... blames me for the divorce I think, but who knows.
I never cheated, hit or abused... ever.... I still dont get it.

My life is ****ed.... I used to own a lot of realestate that was providing income so I could quit my stinky job. SHE WALKED OFF WITH half a million in real estate and never lifted a paintbrush. That was our kids education and our retirement. She refuses to sell anything to pay for kids school. Im now jobless so im no help there. My Kids are THE ONLY reason I havent eaten a bullet. I have to shove suicidal thoughts aside every ****ing day.
Yeah..I got meds. They dont work. I used to exercize and I know what a huge benefit that is for depression... but my hip is now ****ed making it really hard. Cant jog. Bought an elliptical because I thought it woukdnt make the hip hurt.... wrong!

I just want the pain to stop. I want my life back. Its all pointless. Im slowly swirling down the drain... **** it.

[jelly-bean]

I am so sorry that your life right now really sucks! All I can say is just keep gettin up and doing what you can. Hopefully in time things will begin to look up for you. You will never know the reason for the divorce but it sounds like maybe it was a good thing if the ex is seeing a 15 year younger man. I will put you in my prayers for a better life.

[Nammu]

Welcome moondog.

Keep posting here there's a lot of us here that can identify with the feelings and constant pain. No great words of wisdom do I have but I understand.

[Sirensong18]

Hey MoonDog, thanks for sharing your story.

Do you have any kind of visitation or split custody with the kids? If you're having trouble communicating with them, one thing I recommend would be to write letters. Send birthday cards, thinking of you cards, and just general 'how are you' cards.

I had a friend who's parents divorced, and her mother made it sound like it was all the father's fault. The mother fed lies to her, and generally made the father out to sound evil and horrible. After a few years when she got older, she saught out her dad to find out his side of the story. Turns out he wasn't as horrible as her mom had made him out to be, and one of the things that convinced her was when she saw a huge pile of cards he'd sent her that the mother had intercepted and threw away without ever telling her. (The dad mailed letters, but also kept a duplicate copy for himself.)

Maybe you might want to consider doing this with your kids. Even if your ex trashes the letters before the kids see them - they might come to you one day wanting your side of the story, and you can have a paper trail to prove you're a loving father who only wants to love and care for his kids.

Anyway - not sure if this helps or not, but please know you're not alone, and there are people who care. I hope this forum can help you! *hugs*

[vital]

Originally Posted by moondog1957

Still trying to figure out how to post or start a new thread. Just want to chat really.

My ****.... married 22 yrs. I thought we had thd dream. She got to stay home and raise our 3 beautiful boys... never had to work outside the home. We weren't rich, but comfortable. I get divorce papers out of the blue... she still hasnt explainex why 3 years later. She wont speak to me. Her 15 yr younger bf is now living the house im still paying for but no longer allowed inside.
I just got fired from a job of 13 years... no explanation there either. They hired a kid much younger and cheaper. NC is a "Right to work state" meaning they can terminate you for no reason at all and you have no recourse.
I have 2 goals every day.... get out of bed and dont eat a bullit. Ive only been successful with the 2nd.
my 17 yo doesnt speak to me either... blames me for the divorce I think, but who knows.
I never cheated, hit or abused... ever.... I still dont get it.

My life is ****ed.... I used to own a lot of realestate that was providing income so I could quit my stinky job. SHE WALKED OFF WITH half a million in real estate and never lifted a paintbrush. That was our kids education and our retirement. She refuses to sell anything to pay for kids school. Im now jobless so im no help there. My Kids are THE ONLY reason I havent eaten a bullet. I have to shove suicidal thoughts aside every ****ing day.
Yeah..I got meds. They dont work. I used to exercize and I know what a huge benefit that is for depression... but my hip is now ****ed making it really hard. Cant jog. Bought an elliptical because I thought it woukdnt make the hip hurt.... wrong!

I just want the pain to stop. I want my life back. Its all pointless. Im slowly swirling down the drain... **** it.

Hi moondog,

There are lots of promising things to try to feel better. Here's what I think is the best plan:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

As I'm read your story, I was wondering what you would feel like if you had amnesia and suddenly had no memory of your marriage, kids, real estate, divorce, old job, old life, etc? The other thing I though of is that sometimes, when everything falls apart and becomes unbearable, people sometimes go through a transformation and are able to drop everything that's bothering them. There's a book about it called "The Power of Now", by Eckart Tolle.

For exercise, I'm wondering about just walking. Is that OK for you hip? I really love going for long walks and I find it really helpful myself. I hear that it's just as good or better for your health than running.

- vital