[prettyjolie]

dude for some reason i can't get myself to care.
I feel like i dont care about anything anymore and i dont do anything.. and im just so useless.

i cant deal with it.

The other night I came home from work and started feeling extremely anxious.. for no reason.. i got angry and sad, out of nowhere..
my brother didnt do something he said he would do for me, and i got really upset and overreacted.

so i went in my room to cry and stretch out because it helps me relax.. but all of the sudden, i got really scared and i had to get up to run and turn the light on..
i was crying for no reason, upset, and really frustrated with how i was feeling..
there is no reason for me to feel that way.

the only good thing that came out of that is that my parents are finally starting to take me seriously about this. They seemed to kinda care, which was new.

i dont have an appointment wit a doctor till may..
i feel like i'm not gonna make it.

i dont care.
i'm supposed to meet a friend right now somewhere.. she's calling and calling and all i can do is stare at the phone.
i know she needs me, but i cant make myself care.
Im going out, looking like hell because i cant even go in the shower..
and i dont care..

i'm going nowhere,.

[Direction]

What do your parents think - you mention "starting to take me seriously" - did they not before?

Were they the ones that set up the appointment for May? Can they have the doctors office put you on a call list in case of anyone cancelling before that?

[tellybox]

((((((Prettyjolie))))))

Hang in there friend.

Try to do activites that you enjoy. Remember that at this difficult time, one person that you can try to work on is yourself. Be your own best friend; learn to count on yourself. The people here are present to listen to you, remember that. PM me anytime you like to chat. Keep that chin up and remember that underneath this depression there is a great person, ready to burst through and show the world the greatness.

Love Taylor

[Christina86]

((((((prettyjolie)))))))))))))

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I can relate, it is not any fun.

Wish I could say something that would help, but all I can say is hang on and May is slowly coming. Take care of yourself, take it a little bit at a time.

[prettyjolie]

thanks guys..
i think when i say something like "take me seriously" they just think i want to be the center of attention.. so it doesnt help. They just think worse of me.
I have to admit i somewhat have been the center of attention but only when it comes to my grades or how "smart I am" or whatever they say.. but when it comes to my feelings, they dont care..
if i cry, i'm a drama queen. if i seem not to care, then i'm selfish and i have no feelings..

there is no pleasing parents.

thanks tellybox.. i have tried to do things that make me happy.. but im out of them. im sick of doing the same old thing, which makes me feel hopeless..

every day is the same, it seems like.

thank u