[CosmicRose]

I have been depressed since I was about 14 years old. I'm now in my early 20s and I am so sick and tired of it. It's ruined my life, it has robbed me of enjoying what were supposed to be the best and most carefree years of my life. My depression issues have caused me to hide away in my home for long periods of time, caused me to take jobs that I didn't want because I felt like I couldn't handle the jobs I did want, caused me to not go to college because of the fear, caused me to break up with boyfriends, caused me to not have any friends.
I'm at a turning point in my life where I'm just so sick of depression knocking me around like an abusive person, holding me back from being the person I know I am deep down inside which is a happy, exciting, bubbly individual. I haven't been that person in many years. I feel like she died - and this unhappy miserable person took her place.

Is it possible to be so sick and tired of depression that you just say F it and become happy? Because I'm at that point. I've just gotten so sad and so low that the only other way to go is up, because I have nothing else in me to give to depression. Kind of like when you're hurting so bad, for so long, that the only thing to do is laugh.
Being depressed takes way too much energy.

[kaliope]

I was depressed for over 30 years and then the magic wand hit me.I read some of the most depressing stuff on here and think "hey I used to feel that way. When did it stop?I still think it but I just don't think about it any more. It is like I just accepted that this is how life is so I don't let it bother me any more.kinda sad.

[mooncat1]

I know how you feel with being fed up with being so sad all the time, but with depression (at least from my experence) it's definitely hard to say screw it and just be happy. It's easier said than done. I think it's a good start to have that kind of mindset that you have a desire to be happier. Some people are sometimes capable of pulling theirselves out of depression, and for some (like myself), can't do it on your own, and that is perfectly okay. I would suggest maybe talking to a therapist, a psychiatrist, or someone you love and trust, and then take it from there. I'm not sure if this was any help, but I truly wish you all the best

[eggplantlife]

Cosmicrose, i am at that state where i am sick and tired of it and i want to be happy in spite of it and all the misery it has caused in my life. I am much older than you. I am going to try to feel the pain and push my way through it. It really is hard when you are in that state. We need to keep sharing our experiences and at those moments that we come though it. I had so many of those. I am trying to visualize the future better. It is very hard, but it is worth a try. I mean it is really hard. Try to see if there is anything to look forward to. Try something very simple like what you want the next moment. But then try longer ones in the future. Just dream and i am going to try what i just advice a out the next moment.

[waterknob1234]

It is frustrating when depression takes over and interferes with living a full, complete, and productive life. To me it feels like being in a black hole. I think it helps to set some goals, small ones maybe, then work towards those goals. It helps to create things to look forward to.

[Sirensong18]

Wow, your post really struck home. I'm hoping this website can give us both support to help pull ourselves out of the depression, and into the thriving and fulfilled individuals we both really want to be.

I can really relate to the feeling that you feel like the person you used to be died. I feel the same. I too first became depressed (or was aware of it) when I was 14. I used to be so happy before this and couldn't understand how I had changed so much. The only logical solution to me was that the "old me" had died and left behind this new version that couldn't feel joy anymore. I know this isn't true. In a way, it used to be a comfort to think this. It meant there was a reason for me changing. Because I couldn't understand it otherwise.