depression psychosis

A question for those who suffer psychosis episodes :- Do you think it possible to give in to a voice commanding you to do something eg repeatedly telling you to do something eg to react to harm being caused to you by another person.

I was subjected to anonymous malicious emails which caused me some interpersonal issues with colleagues who I suspected of being involved. Ultimately i became so paranoid that i resigned.

Had it not been for psychotic episodes i would have reacted differently, i am convinced of that.

I had sympathy from my fellow business partners before i resigned but they could not really understand that it was as though the illness was controlling me. I heard a voice repeatedly telling me how i should react even though i didnt want to i felt coerced. I would send emails trying to explain what my illness was like, but they wouldnt listen.

The voices commanded me to create an email address (just as my tormentor had done) and send an email to my former senior partner pretending to be a psychiatrist who had been asked to explain psychosis, depression etc to him and the effect that it had on my reactions / behaviour.

He accepted all that was being told to him :- references of explanatory websites were sent to him.

I wanted to stop sending emails because it was wrong of me to do so under the pretence of it being someone medical who was informing him of the facts about the illness - it was fraudulent of me but the voice kept telling me to do it. I would wake every night and the voice would keep commanding me until i sent an email.

In hindsight i cannot understand why i kept giving in to the voice and to do something that was totally out of character ; dishonest, deception.

Has anyone else felt coerced to do what voices command and then do things against ones own wishes or totally out of character ?

Was what i did because of the illness ie the voices commanding me until i carried out what was required of me ?



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Your post suggests you have different illness.

Try posting in the Psychosis and Schizophrenia forum. You will probably get more responses over there.

I have experienced psychosis before but never ever had command hallucinations. If you firmly believe the sensory information coming in and thoughts then yes your behavior is due to the illness.

I have felt urges and experienced behavior that could be described as paranoid but no commands or voices

No less detrimental for me it as it has cost me a decent job

i experienced command hallucinations when i had a breakdown/major depressive episode.

Are you getting professional support for your depression, if so I think you should talk to your mental health team about this one. Obviously your life has been turned upside down by your illness and you need some answers.

I think you need to forgive yourself for what has happened and start to move on. You don't need to blame yourself, just accept that for whatever reason you did something out of character and potentially damaging to other people. If you have the opportunity to apologise, then by all means do so, but if the other parties don't want to accept an apology that is their choice and you must respect that.

Your use of language like dishonest, deception, fraudulent is very harsh and suggestive of a criminal act, which I don't think you have in fact committed as you weren't trying to secure financial gain or other services. British law recognises that judgement can be severely impaired by mental state, to establish legal culpabilty there needs to be a "guilty act" and a "guilty mind", so if suffering from paranoid delusions although an act might be wrong, there is an element of diminished responsibility and no "guilty mind".

Gareth,

I've experienced exactly what you are talking about.

The voice told me to leave a woman that I was in love with and who loved me. The voice said:

"Leave, Anna! Leave, Anna! Leave, Anna! I will prepare another for you."

I thought the voice might be God, so I didn't want to risk being disobedient.

To make a long story short, I did all I could to challenge the voice, ignore it, fight it, etc., but in the end it cost me the relationship.

For me, I've learned to spot times when I'm vulnerable to it and be on guard against it. It's almost like I can feel it firing up and getting ready to say something unhelpful, condemning, and stupid (which is what it does 100% of the time) and I deliberately interrupt it with other thoughts.

It's like sitting in a bar next to an obnoxious idiot. Every time you see him get ready to open his mouth and say something, you just start talking as loud as you can. You talk over him so you won't have to hear his idiocy, and when he pipes down, you can be quite again. (I'm able to do this internally without actually making any sounds.)

Recently, I had another experience with this voice where it told me that I was forbidden from ever building a specific model aircraft that I was excited to build. It said "You will never build the Yak-3.")

A breakthrough came when I realized that the voice wasn't God, but just something inside of me that desired to sabotage me. It was the voice of self-sabotage and self-punishment, and nothing more.

When I realized this, I was happy to have the victory and breakthrough, but also sad because I'd lost such a great woman in the process.

That same voice of self-sabotage and self-punishment has attacked you and cost you your job. I really hope you will learn to take it on and overcome it.

It can be done.

The victory started for me with prayer. I prayed in a very direct and matter of fact manner. I more or less spoke with Jesus like he was right next to me, saying that I knew that he knows everything, he knew what it was like to be a man, knew what was wrong with me, and knew how to heal me, and I prayed that he would.

After that, I felt a strange and powerful sort of tingling sensation on my forehead, that actually felt really good. (I don't generally get that when I pray.)

Nothing really happened after that for several months, and then things got even worse for a while, but in less that a year I was on the road to a major recovery.

I do not know exactly what your pathway to victory will be, but I pray you will find it.

It's not a helpful voice you're hearing, so I pray that it will be gone.

Psychotic depression also causes command hallucinations. I know, I had them. Just because someone has hallucinations, it doesn't always point to schizophrenia
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I never implied the thread starter had schizophrenia at all. Many different psychiatric and medical conditions are known to cause hallucinations. A person can experience hallucinations without delusions or a diagnosable mental illness. I just suggested the thread also be posted in the other forum because people rarely post about psychotic symptoms here that are not mood congruent.

Commanding voices are the worst. They can be so loud and intimidating. I'm sorry you're going through such guilt.

It has been an interesting and varied discussion.*

1) is the answer "it depends if the action is premeditated or on impulse" ?
2) is it different when psychotic ; not in touch with reality, no sense of judgement ?

Irrational Behavior :: Minnesota Law & Politics

Please take a look atvthe above web link

Interesting debate and the weblink asks questions.

I agree. If the command hallucinations are so convincing that you have to do what you have been told, then YES YOUR BEHAVIOR IS DUE TO THE ILLNESS. God bless you.

Do you ever give in to the commanding voices ?

I have experiences of them and its like a thud-thud-thudding which I have to give in to. I speak as someone with medical training and I still cannot resist.

And neither did I. No need to shout at me. Take it out elsewhere.

If I ever gave into the"commanding" voices........would not be pretty.....be locked up and chained.......you just have to let them go......its at the worst when Im severly depressed and psychotic....figure you know what im talking about....the voices and commands are the sickness in ours heads due to depression....so no you do not need to act on them......not so much a thud thud thud fo me....but explicitvie suggetions out of right field....which start in the morning first thing...till lights out.....best of luck....Artie