[Fuzzybear]

How do you learn how to trust?

[i dont matter]

You have to find the balance between risking hurt and the positives of having REAL relationships.

BEST WISHES FOR YOU

[gayleggg]

I used to be trusting but somewhere along the way I learned not to be trusting and I haven't found a way to get it back. So I will be interested in the answers to this question, too.

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[Marla500]

That's a tough one...if logically the person deserves trust, then maybe just a little at a time? Be patient with yourself

[lavendersage]

A little bit at a time, I think.

Or, if you can go on faith, you trust until given reason not to.

I'm not so good at the latter anymore. Now I need proof first.

Betrayal will do that to you. Rips life right out from underneath you.

[Clara22]

Wow! I think we learn to trust during infancy. If you have suffered some kind of abuse in your childhood, trusting can be an issue. Maybe you can find some ideas here: http://www.ascasupport.org/_download...to_thriver.pdf

i don't really have much of an answer for you.

i don't trust easily myself, not quite sure i ever really did.
hugs to you

[Fuzzybear]

Exactly right! (IMO)
this (IMO) is why therapy doesn't work so well for some, especially the first or second "time" unless the therapist is gifted

Originally Posted by Clara22

Wow! I think we learn to trust during infancy. If you have suffered some kind of abuse in your childhood, trusting can be an issue. Maybe you can find some ideas here: http://www.ascasupport.org/_download...to_thriver.pdf

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks for all the replies

Love,
Fuzzy

[Fuzzybear]

Trigger Warning. Do Not Read if You Are Easily Triggered

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PS, some have called some therapists ... the rapists..... for a reason. It's easy to violate those who come for help and in a vulnerable /"desperate" state, and who believe that an "expert" cares and is competent. Sadly, not always the case

(disclaimer! This is about nobody in particular, and nobody on pc. I believe in researching and in sorting through the lies in the "literature" to know what is lies and what is worth considering..)

[vital]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

How do you learn how to trust?

Hi Fuzzy

I have a huge problem with this too, but I found that it gets much better if you just feel better within yourself.

Not trusting people is one of those self-reinforcing tricks of depression, I think. If you walk around thinking that people are not trustworthy, they will sense this and they will often (a very sad feature of human nature) harm or attack or exclude you, thus proving that you were right not to trust them in the first place!

- vital

[vital]

Originally Posted by vital

Hi Fuzzy

I have a huge problem with this too, but I found that it gets much better if you just feel better within yourself.

Not trusting people is one of those self-reinforcing tricks of depression, I think. If you walk around thinking that people are not trustworthy, they will sense this and they will often (a very sad feature of human nature) harm or attack or exclude you, thus proving that you were right not to trust them in the first place!

- vital

There's a song about this too:

People are strange,
When you're a stranger.
When you're a stranger,
People are strange.

Women seem wicked,
When you're unwanted.
Streets are uneven,
when you're down.

-- the Doors

--- adding a verse that should have been there

People are strange,
When you're a stranger.
People seem evil,
when you're down.

- vital

[Clara22]

Therapists are people that hold a lot of power, if they use that power in the wrong way, they do a lot of damage. I think it is natural that you are having to trust therapists again. Something that would help is to learn that our offender got some punishment. I do Norte trust therapists a lot. i had two bad experiences with therapists. The first one when I was 14 and the second one when I was 17