[Factory Poet]

Okay, i've been in a profound cycle of anxiety and depression since my ex broke up with me. I am avoiding social situations etc...then I meet a woman who I was attracted to.

Nothing intimate yet, just getting together for lunch to talk about our jobs...

My relentless depression seems to be lifting. I have no reason to believe a new relationship is possible. Not sure if lunch will lead anywhere.

I am just so happy that I at least I can look forward to lunch with I woman I find intelligent and attractive.

Am I codependent?

[Smileonmyface]

i don't think so. the possibility of a new relationship is probably making you feel better. i've been in that place too. it's only natural it would if one is feeling lonely. i hope you have a good time. it sounds like you are going into it in a good state of mind

you don't sound it, but its hard to say if we don't know you.

[Fizzyo]

In a way we all are, we all need someone and someone needs us. We all need friendship and I hope this one works well for you and her

[Factory Poet]

Is "needing" someone the same as being overly attached? I was trying very hard not to appear "needy" with someone I dated after my ex, and she drifted away and stopped calling me back. Ironic that I didn't pursue her more vigorously.

I can't find the appropriate balance.

Originally Posted by Fizzyo

In a way we all are, we all need someone and someone needs us. We all need friendship and I hope this one works well for you and her

[Factory Poet]

Well folks, its back to being depressed instead of codependent. The woman I had hoped to go out with this evening just cancelled on me. She wants to "reschedule" after Easter. I think I will just simply wallow in self-pity.

I don't think your behavior regarding this woman who cancelled on you is being codependent. I think it's normal to feel happy when looking forward to a "date" with someone, and it's normal to feel down after a breakup.

[Fuzzybear]

[Fizzyo]

It's hard to know how to behave as everyone is different. Needing friendship is not necessarily the same as being too 'needy' it's give and take that's important. I think there is not much point in trying to be someone you're not in any friendship or relationship as they will soon find what you are like anyway. Be yourself and you will find people who like you for who you are some will be short term and some will stick around longer. Best wishes in the ups and downs of friendship and break ups it's what makes life worth living.

[Fuzzybear]

I no longer find such terms useful (if I ever did)
All of us are, I believe, multi dimensional and as such defy labels and being defined by others

I agree with the above also