[thinktank]

Hello...

I am a college going student...and I really do suffer from shyness. I seem to be so shy that I cant go out and talk to my immediate neighbors. Everything seems to be in a mess. I have been trying to improve from the first year, yet I feel I am going further down. I had so many dreams that I would accomplish after joining my dream college, yet I did nothing. I just wasted my entire time mindlessly watching movies. Its not that I want to, but that watching movies is sort of a escape mechanism for me. Whenever I fail to do something, I start watching movies to make myself forget about the bad things, yet they never seem to improve. My grades have gone down, and I really don't know what to do. I had talked to a therapist one year back. When I was in therapy, I was doing so well, yet when I stopped, I just slumped back to my own self.

Over the years I have been seeing a pattern though. I feel the real culprit in my case in always a tv or a computer. I remember as a child how when my parents forcefully removed our television, I used to do so well, yet when I had access to our television, I was a disaster. I think the same thing is happening to me yet again. The problem is that even though I have to work a lot on my computer as soon as I have any access to it I get addicted to it, and start doing the same things I hate so much.

Does seeing too much movies really impair brain functioning? Nowadays I dont seem to be able to think that well. I am such a sham.

[Wants2Fly]

Hello ThinkTank -- There is a lot of pressure on college students, in my opinion. I am older woman who teaches college. The images on TV promote false images of how easy relationships are, and often they are not. Plus, college studies often seem a giant step away from high school and a lot of self-motivation and self-reliance is required.

Perhaps you are being too hard on yourself.

Does your college have a counseling service? It's usually free, and I'll bet they help you find other outlets for meeting and mixing with people.

[jacq10]

Hi Thinktank,

I'm sorry to hear about how you are struggling ... what you are going through is NOT an easy thing by any means. I'm also a University student (first year), and trust me when i say that i can relate at least somewhat to what you have described above. There was a time when i was scared to even come out of my room because i didn't want to run into anyone in the hallway because i was too shy to have to make a conversation with them. It was so hard, and so i really know what you are talking about.

What helped me most though was just forcing myself to talk to people. To hang out with them, and convincing myself that i was just being paranoid at them not wanting to talk to me. Easier said than done, I know, but it does take a little time and effort for things to get better. I'm not exactly sure what your situation is like, but the more interaction with people the better. Its okay if you want to have some alone time, but maybe ask people if they want to watch a movie with you? If thats not possible (b/c of living arrangments etc) are there any sorts of clubs that you could join? Intramurals, or any sort of social thing that you could meet new people at? I know it can be really intimidating to join a group by yourself, so maybe ask someone to join with you, or start off with a small group of people? Just ideas ...

If you don't want to jump right in to that ... maybe just try getting out more often. Like when you feel like watching a movie or being on your computer, go for a walk? Go run some other errands that involve you leaving your house.

I hope some of these ideas help ... just know that you are not alone, and that you can change and things will become easier if you put forth the effort (although i'm by no means saying that you're not!!!)

Hang in there, and i'm always around if you want/need someone to talk to

Jacq

[bipolar_bear]

Welcome to PC thinktank. I remember so clearly when I started college. (my I must have a great memory! ) and how lonely and scared I was. I too was shy and even reluctant to go to the cafeteria because I was embarrassed to eat by myself and too scared to ask to sit with others. What a dilemma. But I gave it some time and slowly met some people in my classes and ended up making some good friends.

Maybe you could see a councelor at the university? Maybe it would help you brainstorm some ideas on how to work on this issue. Please take care. PM me whenever you like.

BB

[mlpHolmes]

Hi Think Tank ! Wow! All the wonderful caring feelings from everyone above we are all with you - you're never alone & that is important to keep in mind. I teach College, & I 've been where you are yrs. ago. As a Teacher I try to help my students make the huge life adjustment. I know it's not easy. Try Baby Steps each day, & the excellent suggestions above & remember we're here for you always.