[Anony]

I don't really have that much to say. I'm just so down and I feel so lonely. It's my own fault for being so lonely thought.. I really believe that I'm not capable of human interaction. In the past three years or so the only people that I have had a conversation with are my parents and sister. After awhile you lose things to talk about... besides, they actually have a social life unlike me.

For the most part I've gotten used to being anti-social... I've never really talked that much anyways when I was out in public so it's not so different. I don't focus my thoughts around this, but every now and then I think about how sad it is to be me... lonely, depressed, going crazy with worrisome thoughts and OCD... and it makes me very sad. I don't feel like I have the energy to do anything. I guess I felt the need to vent a little about this now because I actually had a few things to say tonight, but everyone was too busy or tired to listen. I don't blame them though... they actually have lives they need to tend to.

[Christina86]

(((((((((Anony))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( Anony )))))))))))))))

[sickntired]

Im so sorry you feel lonely (((((anony)))))))

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((((((((Anony)))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. Take care.

BB

[Wants2Fly]

Hi Anony --- Are you working with a counselor or therapist?

((((((((((((((Anony))))))))))))))))))

[Anony]

Thanks everyone for responding and caring. No, I'm not working with a counselor or therapist Wants2Fly. It's mostly a money issue right now plus I'm not so sure I can work up the courage to do that. Maybe someday though.

[Wants2Fly]

Sometimes sliding scale services are available for very modest fees. These may be county mental health clinics of agencies associated with the charitable organization The United Way in the USA.

((((((anony)))))) You can talk to us. I'm sorry you're feeling sad and lonely.

[Wants2Fly]

Good answer, Jax. I certainly didn't mean to be insensitive. Keep posting, Anony.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((( Anony )))))))))))))))))

Hey Wants2fly,
I wasn't implying anything about you I didn't even read your post. I hope you don't think that. (((((((Wants2Fly))))))))

[Perna]

Loneliness is. It doesn't matter who you talk to or if you have good friends or not, if you feel lonely, you're lonely!

Some of it is perception, some of it "self" and what you are working at/want. Everyone gets lonely, it's a "human" condition. I know that doesn't help at the moment but moods and feelings and circumstances change constantly. Find some "social" situation; school, work, clubs/organizations, something you can "join" and meet people at. Volunteer. Something somewhere is there for you and someone will "jump out" and work to help you. Seek and you shall find :-) It actually works that way?

[Anony]

Thanks for responding Wants2Fly, Jax2923, Fuzzybear, and Perna. I am glad that I have you guys here at PC to share my thoughts with. It's not that I don't want to talk to other people (because I would love to), it's just that I can't. I have social anxiety disorder and it's not just the 'fear' of talking to other people, it's the fact that I practically don't know how to act or talk around them.

Several years ago I forced myself to hang out with some people to try and make friends and have a social life, but it just became the most awkward situation. They tried to have a conversation with me, but for the life of me I couldn't think of ANYTHING at all to say back. I was silent most of the time and my face was as red and hot as anything could ever be. I often escaped from the situation to go to the bathroom and splash water on my face to cool it down. Afterwards when I came home I thought back on all the things I could have said that would make it a nice, flowing conversation. This always happens to me. I'm like a dingdong when I'm around other people and I know that is how others see me as well.

That's why I am so grateful for PC. I can take my time thinking what to say and actually be able to say what's on my mind. So thanks everyone for listening and responding!

[Wants2Fly]

Dear Anony, I can empathize with you. I have felt like an outsider much of my life, and it often is worse when I am in a group where I feel I don't fit than when I am simply alone.

I am rather old, Anony, and I am reading your posts as being from someone who is still young, but which I mean anyone younger than 30. Here are some things that have helped me:

1. Joining a group because I was interested in what the group was about, not simply because I wanted to meet people. Metaphysical and religious study groups work for me. The people there are pursuing positive principles, so they are exactly the kind of people who want you to feel at home.

2. Go at least 7 times. I learned this principle in a fabulous little book about creating your personal village. I will look up the title and author for you, if you want, but you can find it on amazon.com. It is a very useful little primer with specific action steps about we can populate our world with supportive people. I am often too tired and depressed myself to follow the suggestions, but it does give me a game plan of things I can do when I am up to it.

3. Read books and listen to tapes/CD about how to make conversation and network. Not every suggestion will be relevant to you, but you will pick up a few good tips. Sometimes you can get these for free at a library. Dale Carnegie's 1930s classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People is still relevant, despite the corny title. Learn to be a good listener.

I wish you all the best, Anony. I know it can be a struggle for some of us, because I am still fighting the good fight myself.

Big hugs, big hugs.

I know exactly what you're talking about Anony. I'm an idiot in social settings-I've learned to accept that to a certain degree. I never know what to say either. I usually end up saying the dumbest things.

((((((((Anony))))))))

[Anony]

((((((((Wants2Fly))))))))) and ((((((((Jax2923)))))))).

These awkward situations wouldn't be so bad for me (us maybe?) if others seemed just a little willing to understand why I'm this way or how uncomfortable it is for me. There's been times when people just flat out say to me, "Why don't you ever say anything?" or "Why's your face so red?" It draws in more attention that I don't want. I've definitely noticed more so lately how a lot of people are so unwilling to understand others. It's kinda sad.

Wants2Fly, I like the idea of joining a group... however I highly doubt there would be any groups of my interest around here (I don't live in a very exciting place). Before my college 'hiatus' began a few years ago I took several art classes that were pretty small in size (maybe around 20-25 people) and I was fine in those situations. Everyone got along really well and I was doing something I really enjoyed and was good at. Sometimes I wish I could have stayed in nice settings like that (maybe I wouldn't be so completely anti-social now), but things got pretty messed up for a while and I had to take a break from school. Maybe I'll get the courage and chance to be so lucky again? Hopefully...

[Wants2Fly]

Hi there Anony -- I know what you mean about those dumb questions. I put my students through the Myers-Briggs personality index every semester, because it teaches all those extroverts how to deal with us introverts, and gives us introverts a better informed perspective, too. My students treat a bit less like a weirdo now. LOL.

Well, keep your eyes open for things at libraries; many public schools have adult evening non-credit classes on everything from crafts to home repair to learning a new language; community centers. The weekend editions of the newspaper usually have the meeting notices, as well as little weekly free newspapers, if there any where you life. And there's meetup.com that lists all kinds of groups around the USA (if you are in the US).

Good luck. Keep us posted, okay?

[Fuzzybear]