Too defensive

I know that when I'm telling my "story" I do it in a defensive way. I'm aware of myself doing it. I just don't know how to stop myself, it just comes to my mind so seamlessly that I don't realize how I'm making myself into a helpless victim until after I've already done it. I'm such a downer I don't even want to be around me. Like seriously if I had a choice I'd avoid me too. :/

Hi annoyedgrunt, well on here you can tell your story any which way you want to/any way it comes out. And certainly don't worry about seeming a downer, if you're down it matters, and all the more reason to talk about things
And sometimes when you feel more confident with people, that they're going to listen, to understand, to care.......the way in which you tell your story sometimes naturally changes. And gradually/over time you may be able to see yourself less as a "victim" and more as a "survivor". Maybe still struggling, maybe still needing help/support but a "survivor", and recognise your strengths more too........
But if you feel helpless at times too, that's OK. Depression can easily make you feel that way, just keep on talking........we're here for you and maybe we can share some understanding, and share some strength.

Alison

When you're depressed, you act, feel and think dominantly habitually without realizing that you're doing it. You say what you always say, feel what you always feel and think what you always think. Because you slip into that mode unconsciously, it's hard to talk or reason your way out of it. On the other hand, you can train your way out of it pretty directly and effectively. See "snap club" here:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

- vital

I think that's true and being aware of it is a place to start trying to break the cycle.