I have nowhere else to say this. And I have to say this here or else he may never hear it. If I had it my way I wouldn't say a word.

Today was the most I have cried in about a year. It felt almost exactly the same. Like I was gonna be alone forever. Like no one could ever love me. No one could ever stick with me. Even those that understand me and my issues can't handle me. Can't live with me. Especially those that understand. Those that should be able to stick with me can't.

And I don't know what to do. What's the point of falling in love when I can't be loved back?

[hpocus]

I can completely relate. Eventually you just accept your fate. For me, it's gotten to the point that I'm glad for the other people of the world that they don't have to deal with me. I get sad when people want to be with me, because I know what they will end up going through. They always come to their senses, and it always ends badly, either they get their feelings hurt or they get really mad. What I go through doesn't matter. At this point I actively try to avoid interacting with people. In the end, it's better for all of us.

[Voidshadow]

You'll find someone, someday, or at least something that will help you.
I know so, because I'm still looking for it, and it's the only thing keeping me sane.

[A18793715]

I feel your pain. Today I went through the most painful breakup I've ever had.

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[ProudlyPersevering]

Sorry you are hurting. I care for someone with depression and am willing to stand beside them through this but they keep isolating so I need to wait outhere. I hope they know I am here and are not feeling alone.it is hard on both sides of this illness but believe me there are people that care and are willing to tough it out with you. You will find one.

[Clara22]

Hi,
I feel your pain. I do not believe in fate although some of us are born with (or acquire) certain conditions that make difficult for us to keep relationships for several reasons including stigma. Perhaps we should try to concentrate on those things we can improve not only in ourselves but also in society. At the end of the day, it is the only thing we can do.
Clearly, we have understood that life is not fair. We are far from the model of happiness advertised on TV or that we imagine other people enjoy.
But that does not mean we will not be able to encounter a soul mate, ever. When we hear a voice inside telling us "you will never find love" that is not true. It is depression speaking, I am sure

[Fuzzybear]

[lizzyjb]

Be sure that there's always chances in life to find someone to share life. But be sure it's difficult to love someone when you can't love yourself.
All of you are wonderful and you should know that it's so so hard going ahead in life dealing with a depression. You are strong and can deal with. And you should believe in yourselves just because you are the kind of person able to try to help people you don't know, you have the capacity of understanding and being supportive. That is a very good characterise that show that all of you are very special persons who deserve to find love. And you will do because all of you are the best.

Thanks for all the kind words. I'm just struggling to believe anything positive at the moment. My head is well and truly stuck on one train of thought and no matter what I do I can't seem to change it. I don't trust anything or anyone. Just want to curl up and disappear and hope that it all goes away...

[TheOriginalMe]

((((((Secretwhisper))))))
Many years ago I decided to go it alone rather than risk another rejection. I'm still stuck with the feeling that I'm too unstable to ever have a relationship or even a friendship. Work on your feelings in therapy, it won't be easy but neither is isolating for your whole life.