[RatMaze]

Hey guys,

I am currently in a relationship for nearly 5 years. Just recently I noticed my boyfriend has been very distant. He spends his time away from work watching random YouTube videos almost endlessly unless his friend invites him out. I confronted him about it and he attempted to push me away. I asked him if it was his wish that I end the relationship. He said he didn't know or to do whatever I want. He feels that I would be happier with someone else. When I denied this, he asked why, he wasn't worth much. Eventually, the conversation led to him saying that he doesn't feel much of anything. I clarified it by asking if he was numb inside, he said yes.
My heart just sank. I felt I should have picked it up ages ago. He has been irritable for a few months, but I thought that once his job had stabilized, things would resolve. It hasn't and has more or less gotten worse.
I asked him if he's considered seeking help. He said it wasn't an option. He has had bad experiences in his youth with "shrinks". He will refuse antidepressants due to them making one of his friends' depression worse to the point his friend committed suicide.
I'm at an utter loss on what to do from here. I don't know what to say. I told him that I'm worried and he told me not to as he is too proud to do anything drastic (suicide).

[lonely-and-sad]

Anhedonia? Just a guess. We need more information. You need more information. If you are not aware anhedonia is considered by many to be a condition in its own right and not just a part of depression.

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[RatMaze]

Originally Posted by lonely-and-sad

Anhedonia? Just a guess. We need more information. You need more information. If you are not aware anhedonia is considered by many to be a condition in its own right and not just a part of depression.

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I'm reading a few sites on it and a good chunk of it is ringing bells. Unfortunately, if it is, I feel even more clueless on what to do

[lonely-and-sad]

Originally Posted by RatMaze

I'm reading a few sites on it and a good chunk of it is ringing bells. Unfortunately, if it is, I feel even more clueless on what to do

It seems to be a condition that responds poorly for most to the treatments we have available. They can't just decide to get better and they struggle to even care. It appears that most sufferers believe that it either resolves itself, slowly it seems, or it does not and the condition becomes persistant. You need to keep in mind that it may not be anhedonia. Perhaps its a depression or something else. However besides himself nobody would know him as well as you do

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[RatMaze]

Originally Posted by lonely-and-sad

It seems to be a condition that responds poorly for most to the treatments we have available. They can't just decide to get better and they struggle to even care. It appears that most sufferers believe that it either resolves itself, slowly it seems, or it does not and the condition becomes persistant. You need to keep in mind that it may not be anhedonia. Perhaps its a depression or something else. However besides himself nobody would know him as well as you do

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Even then, I don't know the man I see in front of me anymore. He's so different.

Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can say for him to consider seeking help?

[lonely-and-sad]

Try to get him to read what you read. It needs to be something that might spark some kind of interest and he actually completes reading it. If he can recognize whats happened he may try to do something about it. There is plenty of treatments he can try. CBT and medications that act on dopamine seem the best. Edit: that is if it is anhedonia. Someone needs to see what is going on. An assessment by a medical professional MUST be done.

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Do you think he would see a psychotherapist? For talk therapy, I mean, since he's anti-med right now.

[RatMaze]

Originally Posted by jo_thorne

Do you think he would see a psychotherapist?

Due to his past experiences, it would take a lot to convince him. I just don't know how to.

[lonely-and-sad]

Agree with the therapist approach. I hope you can somehow get him to do one session as a favour to you. You never know unless you give it a shot. BUT don't sacrifice your life for this. You can't fix someonelse. One person I know spent years trying to help someone with borderline personality with nothing to show for it except pain.

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