[Varvatossz]

I'm a 20 year old guy from spain...Throughout my whole life ive been hanging out
with people who never really wanted to have fun...summer in spain is pretty packed with tourists
and not only tourists but people go out to clubs,beach bars,parties etc. Summer is a lot of
fun here..Through my whole life as a teenager (from 16-19) the summers were always pretty
miserable..My friends never wanted to go to a club (you can go to clubs here even if
you are underage),never wanted to go to beach bars
or parties..We never talked to girls..They were always pessimistic when it comes to women
,they were saying things like "you cant get a girl unless you have an expensive car,money,and a
muscular body,theres no hope"...While everybody was out at parties and beaches
having fun we were just sitting at benches at parks and just being miserable...Meanwhile if you go out in the streets you will see almost everybody being in a relationship so what my friends were saying doesnt really apply...Before that,when i was
14-15 years old,i didnt have any friends...I just sat home or just walked around the park by myself..
Those were pretty miserable times as well..Now i got rid of my old friends because they were making me
depressed because they still have the same mindset..I want to go out have fun,talk to girls,go to beaches etc.
But im completely alone...Its been almost 3 months since i got rid of them and ive never been more lonely
...It feels like im going back in time to were i was 14-15 when i was again completely alone..Its like
im going back to the past and its driving me crazy...Summer is here for good and i see so many people in
the street and on facebook going to clubs and beach bars and im just here by myself in my room...I
feel like every summer is the same....I cant take this anymore...What should i do?? I dont go to university,
finding a job is extremely difficult in spain due to the crisis..Im signed up to a gym but i havent really
met anybody...I feel lost and alone....Any suggestions?? im pretty good looking,i have
a muscular body (not too muscular) and i have a pretty face..I were nice clothes and i take good
care of myself and health..I eat healthy as well...I read tons of books on self improvement,
philosophy,psychology etc. believe it or not haha even though it seems like it doesnt help at all hahaha

[Fuzzybear]

[Frankbtl]

Hi Varvatossz,

Welcome to PC!!!

To me it's sounding like you more need that kickstart to the next level, because I'd say that it's seriously impressive how far you've actually come!!
From 14-15 being so isolated, to actually making that massive step of making friends including crashing those social barriers, to actually recognosing the flaws in those friendships and how "unhealthy" for you those friendships actually were and taking the big step of cutting them off considering your best interests in it all..........and of course now/still the self care and working on/looking for self improvement!!
So wow, have you got a lot behind you/going for you in finding a way to move forward??!!!

And the next level...........you mentioned the gym...........and exercise can sometimes help when you're depressed so well done on the sign up.............but maybe worth going either on exactly the same days/times to get to know/become more familiar with some of the "regulars" there..........and then some casual conversion.........or if you prefer maybe go at all different times on different days to meet more/different people and maybe in time you're going to be meeting some people you might like to chat a bit more to.
Perhaps they even have exercise classes/sessions/boot camps or regular runs there where you can build connections with the same people.
Even jogging on the beach (with some break stops) could have you regularly seeing and eventually chatting to some people.
And wild thought........but if you had a dog, which can help some people with depression sometimes...........well........walks on the beach (or anywhere) including meeting people......???
And these beach bars/parties........could go on your own. If it's uncomfortable/hard you don't have to stop long when you go..........but maybe it could get easier after regular short visits.........???
Even if there are cafes near the beach (a bit quieter, and a place to stop for a drink) not a bad way to eventually meet/chat with people.
And read tons of books.........any libraries around you that you could branch out into........you know place to meet people...........

But you know, Varvatossz, even if none of those ideas work, in if fact they sound "out there" to you, I've still got a lot of belief in you from what you've said, a lot of belief that you really have what it takes to, if not now, but in time, breakthrough this.
So if/as things are hard stick with us, yes?? Because I reckon you can get through this!!



Alison