He has taken my virginity and won't talk to me

Okay so Monday I lost my virginity to this guy I really liked, but we only talked for a week. I struggle with depression, anxiety, and ptsd and ever since I had sex with him I feel nothing but anxious literally I feel it in my chest and I don't feel depressed because I am on medication Zoloft 100mg for Depression and Vistaril 50 mg for anxiety, I'm not depressed but I am suicidal I don't know why? But when we had sex he wasn't gentile it hurt I was scared and I wasn't comfortable the only nice thing about that day was him holding me and hugging me. Afterwards he started ignoring me which I thought he would, and I tried talking to him but all he does is insult me and treat me bad, and it just hurts because I am always kind to him. I thought sex would be fun in fact I had an obsession with it ever since I was very young. I have no one to talk to about this experience, because I am waiting on a nre therapist because the one I had for two years moved she helped me allot but I just wish she was still here, I have no one to talk to about this because my family would do nothing but talk down to me and rub it in my face and lose trust in me which can't happen because I am barely given freedom now. I can't take the bus walk to a park anything, because they are scared I won't be able to handle the real world.... I didn't really want to do it but he gets mad very easily and I knew he would never talk to me again, and I just thought I try it because when I was little I was bullied and teased for the way I look and I thought this would be proving all those people wrong but now I'm just miserable... Anyway I feel anxious in my chest all the time now and sometimes I wake up feeling depression and anxiety in my chest at once that's the best way I can explain it anyone feel similar or have any advice/

Hi denseheartofglass. Welcome to pc. I am so sorry you are having so much pain right now. I am sorry you have had a hurtful experience with this young man. Your story sounds very similar to things I experienced as a teenager. Sometimes we find that having sex is not the be all wonderful thing we thought it would be.

Seeing a new therapist would be a good idea. If you are feeling suicidal, do get help. There are also hotlines you can call posted on pc. Or, in an emergency call 911. You deserve to have a better life than having depression and anxiety. Also, you should have a boyfriend who is good to you and lifts you up, rather than criticizes or insults you. Rather than sex, it would be good to find a young guy to spend time with, share interests or hobbies with, and also a friendship with.

My heart goes out to you. Best of wishes. You may pm me if you wish.

I was in your shoes not to long ago. It still hurts me when I think about it. But I'm getting through one day at a time. Sorry you are having a hard time but I do understand.

I'm so very sorry you went through all this. You are a person and that makes you special and as valuable as anyone else. I really really hope you soon find the support you need.