[CrazyGirl6371]

My depression is very severe, more severe than I remember. I'm losing interest in things that once brought me joy. I'm lethargic. I feel like I'm in a fog, a haze. I was on an SSRI, but it has stopped working, and I have had my dose upped. Still, not working... Is this how it's going to be? Am I just going to feel this way forever? Is this what life has to be, now? I've been through so many medications. I don't see how I can ever feel better. I feel like I've reached a plateau, but a low one.. I just keep going down and down and down. I can't get much lower. I've been having a lot of suicidal thoughts, a lot of temptation to cut, but I'm trying very hard not to. Please, tell me this gets better. Can I be fixed? Will I have to deal with this forever, this horrible feeling? Does it get better? Please, someone, give me some hope. I need it so badly... I'm afraid this is just how my life will be, and I don't like it. I've had depression for so long. I thought that it could actually get better, and it did for a while, but it's so bad, now. I feel like I can't function. I can't concentrate. I'm so depressed. Please, someone, comment. Let me know if you ever declined until you feel like you've reached a "plateau"... What can I expect? Do I have to live like this? :'(

[vital]

Originally Posted by CrazyGirl6371

My depression is very severe, more severe than I remember. I'm losing interest in things that once brought me joy. I'm lethargic. I feel like I'm in a fog, a haze. I was on an SSRI, but it has stopped working, and I have had my dose upped. Still, not working... Is this how it's going to be? Am I just going to feel this way forever? Is this what life has to be, now? I've been through so many medications. I don't see how I can ever feel better. I feel like I've reached a plateau, but a low one.. I just keep going down and down and down. I can't get much lower. I've been having a lot of suicidal thoughts, a lot of temptation to cut, but I'm trying very hard not to. Please, tell me this gets better. Can I be fixed? Will I have to deal with this forever, this horrible feeling? Does it get better? Please, someone, give me some hope. I need it so badly... I'm afraid this is just how my life will be, and I don't like it. I've had depression for so long. I thought that it could actually get better, and it did for a while, but it's so bad, now. I feel like I can't function. I can't concentrate. I'm so depressed. Please, someone, comment. Let me know if you ever declined until you feel like you've reached a "plateau"... What can I expect? Do I have to live like this? :'(

Hi CrazyGirl,

You might get some ideas from this

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

and these notes

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

- vital

[Madeofwords]

Keep trying. I feel for you. They do say it gets better, and I'm personally holding out hope that it does. Just hang on, okay?

[Fuzzybear]

Hi CG. Your post is very well-written. You do description well. I pretty much had a flashback to last winter, which was just the lowest point of a pretty bad four years.

In my case, I started going to psychotherapy and had a meds change and I almost suddenly got much, much better. One reason for that was greatly improved sleep.

How is your sleep? If you have a device that can download apps, I would recommend one called SleepBot. I first heard of it from another poster on this forum. It monitors your movement and breathing/snoring while you're sleeping and creates charts that let you look at how often you're coming out of restful sleep. Or, if you're like me last winter, you may be not sleeping at all for large parts of the night.

The med that was added that helped me so much was low-dose mirtazapine/Remeron at 7.5-15 mg. Besides helping my sleep, I have lots more energy and my motivation is greatly improved.

I think usually when someone reaches a plateau like you've described, their doc changes their main antidepressant. For me, that's Cymbalta. I need it for fibromyalgia pain, though, so that's why my doc didn't change it.

I hope you'll let us know in this forum how things are going for you. I would urge you to tell your prescribing doctor all the things you've said in this post about feeling like you're in a fog, lethargy, losing your ability to enjoy things that you previously enjoyed, and the frequent suicidal thoughts and urges to self-harm. Maybe you already did - if so, say it again! These are some serious indicators that you need a medication change.

I'm not sure if you see a psychotherapist. If that option is available to you, I'd urge you to take it. It can be hard to do when you're feeling so down, but sharing what you've expressed here with a mental health professional besides your doctor is important.

Hugs.

Originally Posted by CrazyGirl6371

My depression is very severe, more severe than I remember. I'm losing interest in things that once brought me joy. I'm lethargic. I feel like I'm in a fog, a haze. I was on an SSRI, but it has stopped working, and I have had my dose upped. Still, not working... Is this how it's going to be? Am I just going to feel this way forever? Is this what life has to be, now? I've been through so many medications. I don't see how I can ever feel better. I feel like I've reached a plateau, but a low one.. I just keep going down and down and down. I can't get much lower. I've been having a lot of suicidal thoughts, a lot of temptation to cut, but I'm trying very hard not to. Please, tell me this gets better. Can I be fixed? Will I have to deal with this forever, this horrible feeling? Does it get better? Please, someone, give me some hope. I need it so badly... I'm afraid this is just how my life will be, and I don't like it. I've had depression for so long. I thought that it could actually get better, and it did for a while, but it's so bad, now. I feel like I can't function. I can't concentrate. I'm so depressed. Please, someone, comment. Let me know if you ever declined until you feel like you've reached a "plateau"... What can I expect? Do I have to live like this? :'(

when i read the title of this thread, i honestly thought that you were about to give us some words of wizdom.

i'm sorry for how you're feeling and hope you get to feeling better

[vital]

Originally Posted by CrazyGirl6371

...Can I be fixed? Will I have to deal with this forever, this horrible feeling? Does it get better? Please, someone, give me some hope. I need it so badly... I'm afraid this is just how my life will be, and I don't like it. (

Hi again Craz,

How are you feeling today?

I was thinking about your post some more and wondering if you couldn't bring this up with your docs. If you think that things are getting worse maybe tell them what you think and ask for options. It's step 1 in the advice on the link I provided, but I really think that it is important to specifically ask you docs to check for any purely medical or nutritional issue that could be contributing to how you're feeling. This happens a lot and MDs tend to only check for a couple of issues if that, unless they are pressed about it. In summary, I think you should start complaining rather loudly to your docs. Unless you do, they may just keep doing what they usually do for patients like you.

As for hope, I think that there is plenty of reason to be optimistic as long as you are willing to keep actively looking and actively trying new things. Especially in the case of depression, I think it's important to actively look for new things yourself and not just trust the experts. In my case, for instance, I was sinking for many years and nothing was seemingly helping much. When I found the right thing to do, however, I have now basically completely recovered.

It can get vastly better. Your brain and body have remarkable abilities to heal and recover if you can find a way to give them a chance.

- vital

[-jimi-]

I don't know if this is at all helpful but I also tried a lot of different meds and had been through tons when I was severely depressed. My docs wanted me on the same med that did not help anymore and I wanted a change. Finally I found one that helped and that made all the difference.

When I was in the dark I did not think anyone could ever turn the light back on again.

[lonely-and-sad]

Originally Posted by -jimi-

I don't know if this is at all helpful but I also tried a lot of different meds and had been through tons when I was severely depressed. My docs wanted me on the same med that did not help anymore and I wanted a change. Finally I found one that helped and that made all the difference.

When I was in the dark I did not think anyone could ever turn the light back on again.

Now that looks helpful to me. Research suggests that many people eventually find a medication that works. Medication is one strategy; one tool in a toolbox. Medications should not be relied upon entirely imho. To the op you have to try medications to find out if it will help. You can help yourself if you want to and start by getting some tools that are proven to work for others; tools that are backed up by evidence.

Sent from my SM-G900I using Tapatalk

[LittleEarthquakes]

What were you doing when it was better?

[CrazyGirl6371]

Hey, everyone. Thanks for all of the replies. Unfortunately, I don't have a phone that can download apps. But that's a great idea. I don't sleep very well; I never have, really. I have both a psychologist and psychiatrist. I told my psychologist, and I'm planning on telling my psychiatrist. Some negative things have recently happened, so it must have just thrown me into deeper depression. But I still have one friend who I adore, but he doesn't love me the way I love him and has actually gotten into a relationship recently. It's difficult, but I still have my friend, so it used to be bearable. But I don't know why I can't cope...