[JohnCrow]

Well, was away for a bit but now I am unemployed again, don't have enough to do which means, I am alone with me

Things aren't going well

Lonely, depressed, despairing

My particular flavour of depression manifests as ennui. I lose all drive, all desire

Intellectually I know I have to get my *** in gear, get out there and find a job but my brain doesn't work so well and I literally don't care

But I know should

[tsib1]

depression is such a bug in our life, its been bugging me eversince i started my first job. i tend to resigned from the job in the age of months working, or no more than 1 year & 8 months. i'm currently working for 1 year & 7 months now, almost break my record. i'm having trouble communicating with people, concentrating, i'm very quiet among others, sometimes i'm avoiding my workmates & my boss because i just cant blend with them.

i've been thinking to resign from my current job since the first 3 months, but i'm trying not to, trying to hold on in this job until i got a better one, still applying to some job vacancies but no luck. being unemployed is very depressing, sum it up with other depression issues, sometimes i just dont care anymore, i resigned, look for a job, stop looking for a few days or weeks, and then trying to find a job again, and so on, which caused me being unemployed for months.

[puzzclar]

Its hard to get back in gear but its worth it.

[JohnCrow]

Thanks, tsib1

While it is not good that you are feeling the drifter pull it helps me realize I am not the only one suffering this way

My temp job ended but I have less freedom than ever to do anything! All my stuff is in storage and I cannot get it out (transportation issues, not money)

I want to go away for a bit

I am not sure where; just away

I would say I am trying to find myself but I found him and don't care for him much. I keep hoping that someday, maybe, I will experience a fugue state and walk away from everything to start over with no need for courage on my part. Most because I ain't got none of that

In addition to lonely, bored and depressed I can add afraid

The more I type the more I start to drift into my "Cripes, I am such a loser" mind state. It isn't helping. But, to be fair, it isn't making it any worse because facts are facts