[breakmystride]

I'm coming up towards my 24th birthday. I feel like my entire adult life so far has been a waste and I should have died when I was a teenager, because I've accomplished nothing since then. I wasn't really interested in college, but my parents forced me to go. I gave up my entire life to go to an out of state college and was miserable the whole time. Even at the time, I was upset that I was wasting the best years of my life doing something I hated. I graduated in 2012, and since then I've worked a couple different jobs, but they've all been 'teenager' jobs that are low-paying and didn't require a degree. Currently I work in fast food, where I'm the oldest and highest educated employee, even including my managers. The past year in particular has been rough because I've been living with a roommate who is at best an over-controlling bully, and possibly emotionally abusive. I'm financially trapped in a situation that is making my depression worse, and I don't see any way out.

The last seven years of my life have been a complete waste, and there's no way to get those years back or make them worth anything. I've been through so much pain, and gotten nothing out of it. I feel like I have no future left, I'm too old to restart my life and there's nothing to live for. All that's left is more of the same. At this point, there's not even any point to dying, I'd need to go back in time and die years ago.

[waterknob1234]

I look back on my life and have many regrets too. If you are not happy with life it is definitely time to make a change. Of course you can't go back and change things. All you can do is work with the present. You don't need a roommate who is an over-controlling bully. You don't deserve to be bullied. I don't know what your major was in college. Did you go into a major that your parents wanted or that you wanted? You can't live life for your parents as an adult. That does not work for you. Being we all have to work for a living, you have to find something that makes you content and works for you. I suppose the first step is to find what it is that interests you and then pursue that goal or dream. Is there a vocational school or community college near you? You can perhaps apply for financial aid for an education.

I also understand it can be hard navigating thru the social service system. They are there to serve themselves not others, or it seems that way sometimes. I am dealing with that myself right now. Ultimately, you have to be your own best advocate and seek out solutions that are good for you.

You are still young. You have time to turn your life around and find a way that works for you. Love and best of wishes.

[Fuzzybear]

[Fizzyo]

I felt that most of my 20s were empty years, I existed rather than lived. Since then I did have 20 better years when I felt productive and content with what I am. There is hope.

[Clara22]

Hi,
I feel your pain and wish you could believe there is hope. Despite you chose a degree you did not like because of your parents you learned some stuff. You have a degree and that could help you more or less. It would be worse if you had zero degree. You have a place to live. I know you do not like your room mate. Ok, maybe you can start changing that, I do not know. I do not think you can change all together ( I mean, a better career, a better job, better housing). Perhaps a gradual plan could be better. To me, in addition to a good plan we need to be emotionally stable. Sometimes, we need help to achieve some changes in our life, like counseling or psyquiatry . I do not know your case, but it was important to me at certain point.
I wanted to tell you one more thing: please do not feel too much overwhelmed by your decisions in the past. You were still very young. You depended on your parents and society mandates. The process of becoming an individual with a unique identity, preferences, etcetera is a long one. We need to detach ourselves from what surrounds us in order to become individuals. We build ourselves as subjects little by little. In the meantime our behavior reflects many different things, we do not always act guided by our own ideas or desires. Many young people struggle until they find their vocation. Additionally, this is not the best time to get and keep a good job. Many people are working in areas they dislike. Many people are struggling out of there. You are not a freak or a loser . I do not want to be impolite but in your country people suffer unnecessarily because of the style of life your society sustains. People do not want to show their misery but believe me there are a lot of people unsatisfied and unhappy everywhere. We need a general change in addition to individual changes.Anyway, regarding your status, I believe you will be better. You need time and perhaps some support.if you are committed to your wellbeing sooner or later you will find the way.
I wish you the best

[Sirensong18]

Hugs!!! I'm 27, almost 28, and I can feel your pain. I just actually made a post about how we were all fed this lie of 'work hard, go to college, and you'll have a successful life' as children. So we were all pretty much forced to go to college, only to graduate (or not in my case - I had to drop out to take care of my mom when she got super sick) with huge amounts of debt - and there are no good jobs to be found.

It sucks that your parents made you go to school when you didn't want to. I'm not sure if that also means they made you study a subject you have no interest in... But if you have a degree, then you would qualify for other jobs besides fast food. I know jobs are not easy to find, believe me I get that, but maybe try sites like monster.com, or I know there are places that will email you with job openings in your field if you create a profile on their site (and they're free).

So then the main thing to decide is... what do you want to do with your life? (job wise) What are your passions? Is there a way you can turn your passions or things you like to do into a career? I like talking to people and I'm good with sales, so I consider myself very lucky to have found a great phone retail job where people call me to place orders (no cold calling!), and I help them navigate our website and also answer customer emails. It's a job I can do without a college degree, and they actually pay a living wage. I'm still grateful every day for my good job - but before I found this job, I was working for minimum wage at Kmart, and it sucked - A LOT.

I guess try not to get into the 'END', or 'everything now dilemma'. Trying to make too many large lifestyle changes all at once can make everything blow up in your face. Maybe just sit down, and meditate on your life as it is, and how you want it to be in the future. Then figure out what steps you need to take to reach those goals. And set small goals for yourself at first, things that are reachable and more easily attainable - so you'll get a confidence boost and feel good about yourself for accomplishing them.

And try to remember you are still young. If you do it right, you still have many many years ahead of you. So plan for how you want to spend those years, and then follow through on your plans.

I wish you all the best.