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#1
Jul 11, 2015, 08:43 AM
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I don't know why, but I am becoming so depressed today. I am being flooded with bad memories. I feel like a huge failure. I feel unloved, unworthy. I want to be taken out of this world. I don't know why I feel this way. I need to find something to take my mind out of all of this. I feel like a big failure that does not need to live. Maybe I will have a couple of drinks and hang out by the pool. I know I am not supposed to drink and that it is a bad idea, etc. But I need a release, an out. No one else really cares except my friends on pc.
   
Last edited by waterknob1234; Jul 11, 2015 at 08:43 AM. Reason: add trigger icon |
 Clara22, Fuzzybear, Marla500, RenouncedTroglodyte, SeekerOfLife, Sirensong18
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#2
Jul 11, 2015, 12:33 PM
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And you're right we do care. I hope you find a better way than drinking, but understand how bad the thoughts can get. I've been trying to finish a book for a month now but can't get the thoughts to stop long enough to concentrate on the book. Mine are mostly negative thoughts too. I sometimes listen to soft music to help quiet my mind and sometimes it really helps, other times, not so much.
Hang in there. 
__________________
Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
| Marla500
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 waterknob1234
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#3
Jul 11, 2015, 04:22 PM
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__________________
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| Marla500
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| waterknob1234
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#4
Jul 12, 2015, 06:08 AM
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How do you feel now?
__________________
Clara Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel |
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#5
Jul 12, 2015, 06:26 AM
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I feel a little better today. I caved in yesterday and had a couple of drinks and that made me feel better. This morning I got up and turned on Dr. Charles Stanley on TV. I heard a message that turned on a light in my mind. For a short while in his sermon he talked about praying for people you don't like, or rather, praying for people who have hurt you. That may be something good to try. However, for right now the ugly memories are not torturing me. Then again I have a busy day ahead of me. I will go to church and help out with the ministry we have for mentally handicapped people. They are beautiful people and I love them all.
My first impulse seems to be to hide from the world in my house. However, if I get out and stay busy I seem to do better. I don't think so much. Thanks for checking in on me Clara. 
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| Clara22, SeekerOfLife
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| Clara22
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#6
Jul 12, 2015, 01:22 PM
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Hi waterknob, hoping today stayed better for you
 But just a reminder for you, if you need it..........you're absolutely NOT a failure!! You are such an awesome person, I know things have been real hard for you lately, but nothing's going to change that. And you're absolutely right, we care.........so if you need some support............. Alison |
| waterknob1234
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#7
Jul 12, 2015, 01:46 PM
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I'm sorry you're having a hard time of it waterknob. *hugs*
__________________
"When you trust yourself, you will know how to live." -Goethe |
| waterknob1234
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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