[i dont matter]

Pretty much daily I deal with suicidal thoughts and desires. Basically, even though I have many nice things in my life - I see no point in it and wished I were in heaven. However, I have a very impressionable 16yo daughter who loves me very much and killing myself would "really mess her up".

There that is my background.

Yesterday I was talking to my therapist and mentioned about how I would like to die but I did not want to "mess up" my daughter. She pauses and says "did you ever think that by staying in a constant depressed mode - that I already am messing her up".

Now I know she meant her comment in a way to kick me out of my depression. But I could not help but "hear" it as reason to end my life.

The mentally ill mind is a weird, funny, twisted thing.

[Skeezyks]

OMG, i don't matter... what an awful guilt trip to lay on someone! This person has no business being a therapist, in my humble opinion... The implication here is that you could just "snap out of it" if you wanted to. Sure, if you had a serious physical illness, that would really be difficult for your daughter too. But would your doctor say: "You know your illness is really messing your daughter up?" Of course not! Yes, there are all sorts of experiences that we all have to negotiate growing up. And, yes, it might be of some value for your daughter to have the opportunity to talk things through with her own therapist. (Not THIS ONE!) But there is no fault here, which I think your therapist's statement implies. It's just life. Perhaps your therapist didn't mean for this to come out the way it did. I hope that, in retrospect, she's biting her tongue. Therapists are, after all, people too. I hope that you will be able to let this poor turn of phrase go to wherever it is poorly chosen words go. I wish you well...

I;m very sorry she said that to you. I have a teenage boy, and I've felt guilty enough for being depressed around him. That was not helpful at all, i know it wouldn't make me feel any better.

[Fuzzybear]

[Clara22]

Hi idontmatter,
I think her comment is really bad coming from a therapist. I would have thought the same as you.

[gayleggg]

Not to worry, you can raise a healthy child even while depressed. I did it. Honesty about your mental illness keeps everything in perspective. My daughter is now grown and a school counselor. Don't feel guilty about your illness. Just be honest with your daughter.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[EnglishDave]

Proof positive that some Therapists don't think of the ramifications of their words

Being exposed to your Depression will give your daughter an insight into mental health issues. Your not being there for her could seriously affect all aspects of her life.

If you feel this is a one-off comment on the part of your Therapist that you can move past, then all will be well. If it has damaged their credibility in your eyes, it is time for a change. Always remember, you are the Employer, Therapists are employed to use their skills to make our situations better. If a particular Therapist cannot carry out that function for you, then - just like a mechanic or dry cleaner - find a new one.

Dave.