[cheatingdeath]

I saw my therapist on Wednesday and have been in bad shape ever since. Yesterday was very bad. Nothing we talked about in session really seemed to upset me at the time but I started going downhill right after I left. I have always been very self aware. I know what's upsetting me and where it's coming from, my problem was how to manage it. But this is different, whatever it is it's coming from my subconscious because I have no idea why I'm feeling so horrible. I felt so bad last night that I felt like I had been drugged. Every time I stood up I was dizzy and confused. I finally fell asleep (more like passed out) all on my own, no sleep meds. That was a first in a decade! I've never been able to go to sleep without sleep meds for at least the last 12 years. Today I woke up feeling a bit better then the staying on the brink of a crying jag lasted all day and is still with me. I'm thinking of setting my alarm for a controlled cryfest and seeing if that will help. I'm just so horribly sad but the not knowing why is making me angry. I'm thinking of rescheduling next weeks therapy appt. There's something very different and something very wrong here.

[lonely-and-sad]

Most of my depression in the nearly 3 decades I have had it did not occur for any reason.

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[Fuzzybear]

[catnip123]

Can you contact your therapist to let he or she know how bad you're feeling? Maybe your T can connect your problems to something that happened in your last session
Hope you feel better soon

[vital]

Originally Posted by cheatingdeath

I saw my therapist on Wednesday and have been in bad shape ever since. Yesterday was very bad. Nothing we talked about in session really seemed to upset me at the time but I started going downhill right after I left. I have always been very self aware. I know what's upsetting me and where it's coming from, my problem was how to manage it. But this is different, whatever it is it's coming from my subconscious because I have no idea why I'm feeling so horrible. I felt so bad last night that I felt like I had been drugged. Every time I stood up I was dizzy and confused. I finally fell asleep (more like passed out) all on my own, no sleep meds. That was a first in a decade! I've never been able to go to sleep without sleep meds for at least the last 12 years. Today I woke up feeling a bit better then the staying on the brink of a crying jag lasted all day and is still with me. I'm thinking of setting my alarm for a controlled cryfest and seeing if that will help. I'm just so horribly sad but the not knowing why is making me angry. I'm thinking of rescheduling next weeks therapy appt. There's something very different and something very wrong here.

Hi cheatingdeath,

A couple of things occur to me. Even though it started after seeing the therapist, feeling dizzy and confused makes me think that maybe you are experiencing side effects from some drug you are taking or possibly, you've got some underlying medical or nutritional issue that your docs have missed so far. I would be complaining specifically about those symptoms to your M.D.

I have, once or twice, also felt really bad after seeing a therapist, for no particularly obvious reason. I suspect that this is not at all unusual and I'm guessing that your therapist would say the same. The conversations you have with your therapist are probably quite a bit different than your normal conversations during the day and different than whatever internal dialogue you're having. This makes it likely that you will get reminded of some painful thing in the past, and, if you're depressed, this can push you into the depressed mode even before you consciously know what the painful thing was. For me, I find it very helpful to understand how depression works in your own head. You may find these notes to be helpful:

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

- vital

[cheatingdeath]

Thank you so much for reaching out to me and I do find your points very valid. I will check into the notes you suggested. Wishing you a pleasant rest of the evening!