[GrapesWrath]

Greetings Everyone,

I have been suffering from existential depression and negative thoughts for eight months now and nothing seems to work. I have tried medication, CBT Therapy with seven therapists, I have tried playing a wide range of sports, walking, hiking, seeing friends, trying new hobbies, etc. I have never felt so low in my life, that I keep thinking suicide is the only answer. I'm twenty-four and I still have not graduated from university because of my mental health and depression disorder. I'm at the end of my rope here and I do not think I can hold on much longer. I do not know how to look at the world positively, when the world is full of violence, famine, war, racism, poverty, and lack of critical thinking as well as empathy. I have grave difficulty connecting with peers in my age range. I'm a self-philosopher and I think way too much about the world's problems. I rarely laugh and take life lightly and enjoy the simple moments without deep reflection. I constantly crave intellectual stimulation all the time; perhaps I do not need it all the time, and this is what is causing so much of my depression. I feel fatigue all the time. Little enthuiasum for life and intellectual hobbies such as wrting, reading, debating, chess, and poetry. I find most people boring. I find most people cannot think critically or do not like their views challenged and this is frustrating. Where can I find open-minded people? How can I live in a life of ignorance and bliss? I cannot. I feel that I cannot connect with many people because of my thinking process and hobbies. How can I accept and love everyone for who they are, no matter their background? I do not know how to fit in. I do not like authority and many people do not like questioning authority. Conformity is a normal part of our socialization, I understand. My parents rarely speak to me anymore because of my depression and refusal for more medication treatment. The last time I was medicated, I had a psychotic episode because of the medication and almost harmed myself. I do not know what to do anymore. My partner is going to leave me unless I change my thought process, but I do not know how. Everywhere I go I see nothing but negativity. Most people live superficial and simplistic lives and I cannot take that. I'm depressed about things beyond my control, things that I have no part in causing. Please help. I could really use some advice. I rarely see my family anymore because of my moods. My best-friend has not replied to my messages in six days. I see little joy and hope. I feel no emotions; pretty much a paralyzed feeling. This is mentally painful. I wake up everyday with no purpose and hope for humanity. I'm also socially awkward and shy and this is why I have little friendships.

Please Help. Wealthy advice would be much appreciated. Thank-you.

Welcome to Psych Central!

Good to see you here and I am sorry that you are struggling, but hey, you came to the right place!

We have many different forums here that can probably touch on anything you might want to know about, as well as many great moderators, community liaisons, and members that are willing to give their advice in hopes to help you!

We also have a great chatroom that you will be able to enter, once you have 5 approved posts. The chat community is really great and can help with on the spot advice when you need it.

I hope that you get as much out of this site as I have. It is truly a wonderful community!

[lonely-and-sad]

You have been suffering for 8 months existential depression and negative thoughts. Then you say you tried 7 therapists and medications. Medications are unfortunately slow to work and you need to give them a chance to work. At least 6-8 weeks and if no improvement then discuss another medication. How many have you tried? Re therapy. 7 therapists in 8 months? I think someone needs to tell you straight to stick it out longer unless you just freakishly found 7 incompetent therapists in a row. It is a crappy condition for sure and obsessing over the meaning of life when there is not much of one and obsessing over all the bad things in life which you can't control will naturally lead anyone to depression. If you have seen doctors what exactly are you dignosed with?

Sent from my SM-G900I using Tapatalk

[Fizzyo]

Originally Posted by lonely-and-sad

You have been suffering for 8 months existential depression and negative thoughts. Then you say you tried 7 therapists and medications. Medications are unfortunately slow to work and you need to give them a chance to work. At least 6-8 weeks and if no improvement then discuss another medication. How many have you tried? Re therapy. 7 therapists in 8 months? I think someone needs to tell you straight to stick it out longer unless you just freakishly found 7 incompetent therapists in a row. It is a crappy condition for sure and obsessing over the meaning of life when there is not much of one and obsessing over all the bad things in life which you can't control will naturally lead anyone to depression. If you have seen doctors what exactly are you dignosed with?

Sent from my SM-G900I using Tapatalk

I agree, 4 weeks with a therapist is hardly long enough to evaluate the result, most medication takes at least six weeks before you can categorically say it's not helping. Best wishes for the future, I hope you can find more support, I do feel for you with all the distress you are having. I have lived with depression for years, you do get better times and many people recover, but recovery can take time which feels endless to a depressed person. Best wishes as you find a way forward.

[vital]

Originally Posted by GrapesWrath

Please Help. Wealthy advice would be much appreciated. Thank-you.

Hi Grapes,

The first thing I would suggest is to get yourself carefully tested for the many common purely medical/nutritional issues that can contribute a lot to depression. There's a list here:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

For instance, if you have hypothyroidism or a vitamin deficiency or omega 3 fat deficiency, or gut problems or heavy metal toxicity, the first way this might affect you in any way you notice is via depression. These are common problems and are not always checked by MDs.

About changing your thought processes, you might find these notes to be helpful:

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

- vital

It sounds like you are caught in a cycle of thinking too much, taking things very seriously. My gp suggested a book years ago called "the power of now". It makes sense. It doesn't hurt to look him up on youtube. Eckhart Tolle how do we break the habit of excessive thinking. Best wishes.

[QuantumNathan]

Originally Posted by GrapesWrath

Greetings Everyone,

I have been suffering from existential depression and negative thoughts for eight months now and nothing seems to work. I have tried medication, CBT Therapy with seven therapists, I have tried playing a wide range of sports, walking, hiking, seeing friends, trying new hobbies, etc. I have never felt so low in my life, that I keep thinking suicide is the only answer. I'm twenty-four and I still have not graduated from university because of my mental health and depression disorder. I'm at the end of my rope here and I do not think I can hold on much longer. I do not know how to look at the world positively, when the world is full of violence, famine, war, racism, poverty, and lack of critical thinking as well as empathy. I have grave difficulty connecting with peers in my age range. I'm a self-philosopher and I think way too much about the world's problems. I rarely laugh and take life lightly and enjoy the simple moments without deep reflection. I constantly crave intellectual stimulation all the time; perhaps I do not need it all the time, and this is what is causing so much of my depression. I feel fatigue all the time. Little enthuiasum for life and intellectual hobbies such as wrting, reading, debating, chess, and poetry. I find most people boring. I find most people cannot think critically or do not like their views challenged and this is frustrating. Where can I find open-minded people? How can I live in a life of ignorance and bliss? I cannot. I feel that I cannot connect with many people because of my thinking process and hobbies. How can I accept and love everyone for who they are, no matter their background? I do not know how to fit in. I do not like authority and many people do not like questioning authority. Conformity is a normal part of our socialization, I understand. My parents rarely speak to me anymore because of my depression and refusal for more medication treatment. The last time I was medicated, I had a psychotic episode because of the medication and almost harmed myself. I do not know what to do anymore. My partner is going to leave me unless I change my thought process, but I do not know how. Everywhere I go I see nothing but negativity. Most people live superficial and simplistic lives and I cannot take that. I'm depressed about things beyond my control, things that I have no part in causing. Please help. I could really use some advice. I rarely see my family anymore because of my moods. My best-friend has not replied to my messages in six days. I see little joy and hope. I feel no emotions; pretty much a paralyzed feeling. This is mentally painful. I wake up everyday with no purpose and hope for humanity. I'm also socially awkward and shy and this is why I have little friendships.

Please Help. Wealthy advice would be much appreciated. Thank-you.

Dude, respect for your honesty. It's cool that this is a place were you can lay it all out. Trust I know how you feel. The worst part of my depression was the existential part. But, I did get past it.

If your looking for someone to talk to. I can definitely have some philosophical discussions with you. I'm more well read scientifically then philosophically. But, I understand. It's like people can sit and hang out for hours talking and not actually say anything.

My existential theory: Your the answer. You are what you can do about the injustices in the world. Even if it's just making one persons life better on a deep level, you'd be surprised as to what a difference it can make. It's all brilliantly relative. Infinite in every direction. Understanding, integrating, expanding, loving. Different words for the same thing. It's a pattern repeated all across life. We can be that positive force that were looking for and it feels good to do so. That's what soothed my existential pain, I'm struggling to implement it on a bigger scale. But, I believe it. If that's of any help.

But, most importantly, I want you to know that I'm another awkward introverted 20 something year old. Who likes to think on things a little too deeply.

[Tauren]

I can tell you how I deal with it, although it may not be the solution for you.

I got overwhelmed by all the poverty and inequality in the world, and I thought, what am I good at that can help? Well, nothing really, but I could GET good at something that can help. So I took a (free) class in teaching adult literacy and now I do that a few hours a week. It really helps to know you're doing something about the problem and not just worrying.