[Nobodyshome0]

Growing up family was always a really important part of what shaped me as a person. I am the oldest of four children two girls and two boys. I was taught you drop everything for family. You support them and are there for them when they need you.

my mothers mother passed the summer before I started high school and her mother sometime before that. 2008 was the worst year of my life
My dad passed away when I was 19 I graduated high school the week after he died. my grandpa my mothers dad passed in September and my dads mother the following march. I was really depressed for a long time after it and I finally started to get better when my mom got sick. my mom had PKD and her potassium dropped. It is genetic. She died in April. They both died of a heart attack.

my eldest little brother started drinking heavily he got a dwi got in to fights with my sister yelling throwing things. Wednesday he came home drunk and angry and got in a fight with her partner and she called the cops on him. my youngest brother bailed him out and now no one is talking to each other. I'm torn in the middle. My family is the only thing holding me together and I can't hold them together. In high school I struggled with self harm and I see the same thing in my brother drinking being reckless and I want to help but I don't know what to do. I can't chose any of my siblings over the others and this is not helping me either. I am just so lost and I don't know how to help them or myself.

[healingme4me]

That's certainly more on your plate than the average person. My heartfelt sympathies for all of your lost loved ones.

Where your siblings are concerned, your being able to attend to your own emotional wellbeing, matters in the grande scheme of things.

That's not implying that picking sides is necessary, whatsoever. I've seen a truce made within another family. Those not involved, stay neutral. Those that are neutral, agree to not speak poorly of one another to those feuding. Those feuding are to stay away from one another. Those feuding cannot bash the other in front of neutral siblings. They are still family. No it's not how their late mom would want it, ideally. However, to keep the drama down, as their mom would want, this is the best compromise they could arrive at.

[CANDC]

Hi NobodysHome. Welcome to Psych Central (PC). I am so sorry for all the grief you feel and family situations you must confront. Your siblings are dealing with the same grief but acting it out in different ways that are pressuring and straining the family.

It is amazing how you managed to graduate with all the trauma around you. Congratulations. I know that self harm is something that can creep up when you are feeling vulnerable but I hope you are strong enough not to give in. There are other ways of coping.

There is an article in Psych Central that talks about self injury and how to cope with it. Here is link: Self-Harm: The Myths & the Facts | Embracing Balance

Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems are more manageable the more they help others.

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[Fizzyo]

Hi Nobodyshome,
Sorry to hear you have been through so much! Congratulations on graduating. The previous 2 posts are both talking sense. Sending all the compassion and strengthening thoughts I can. Be kind to yourself as best you can.