[Clownpants]

this is my first post. not sure how it all works yet. I just need to feel ok. i'm so tired of being alone...

the past 2 years, i have watched my mother die at the same time my husband was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. he's dead now too. my father in law immediately cut me out of his will. then my sister left the family. she is no longer speaking to me...and the rest of us. my mother in law died a month after my husband. a 15 year relationship of mine ended very painfully. and now, my only child is not speaking to me for reasons yet unknown.

i'm going to start taking an anti depressant. never done that before. but i'm lost in the gray, heaviness of my head. i'm pretty much paralyzed.

[lonely-and-sad]

Welcome to Psych Central. We are here to support you through this as best we can. We might be anonymous people on the internet but there are people here that can relate. You seem to be depressed as a result of some very difficult and painful events in your life. I am sure you have shared this with your doctor. Has your doctor given you a good physical examination as well? Also have you thought about counselling in addition to the anti depressants from your physician? Therapy can work well for this type of depression. Keep talking to us.

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[Clownpants]

I've been going to a therapist for a couple years. I go to a medical doctor regularly. my health is fine. blood work all good.
I think my therapist could be better? she never says anything. I get no "homework"...not much feedback. she makes me feel kind of alone too.

I have only taken one anti depressant pill...yesterday. I just started. I didn't sleep half the night. not sure i'm going to like this stuff? it's Zoloft. I've never taken these kind of drugs before.

I know I've had multiple traumatic events. it just seems I can't get out of the fog. i'm not getting well. i'm stuck...or as I call it paralyzed.

my life completely changed in 2 years. nothing is left. it's devastating.

[Fuzzybear]

[vital]

Originally Posted by Clownpants

this is my first post. not sure how it all works yet. I just need to feel ok. i'm so tired of being alone...

the past 2 years, i have watched my mother die at the same time my husband was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. he's dead now too. my father in law immediately cut me out of his will. then my sister left the family. she is no longer speaking to me...and the rest of us. my mother in law died a month after my husband. a 15 year relationship of mine ended very painfully. and now, my only child is not speaking to me for reasons yet unknown.

i'm going to start taking an anti depressant. never done that before. but i'm lost in the gray, heaviness of my head. i'm pretty much paralyzed.

Hi Clownpants,

I'm sorry to hear about all those super-stressful problems in your family. It's so much to go through. I learned about a video from festidump that you might like:

I have a couple of suggestions myself too. There are quite a few purely medical or nutritional issues that can really drag you down in the way you're describing. These are common problems (like hypothyroidism, gut problems, vitamin B or D deficiency, heavy metal toxicity, infection, omega 3 fat deficiency...) and if you have any one of these, surely the best thing is to figure that out and deal with it first. There are also lots of healthy things you can to do improve you mood, sometimes by a huge amount. You might find some ideas about that here:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

I also found these notes to be extremely helpful:

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

and it has helped others too.

- vital

[Tauren]

Originally Posted by Clownpants

I have only taken one anti depressant pill...yesterday. I just started. I didn't sleep half the night. not sure i'm going to like this stuff? it's Zoloft. I've never taken these kind of drugs before.

If you took it at night, try taking it in the morning, or vice-versa.

Hopefully the Zoloft help will give you the peace of mind to start putting your life back together. Good luck.

[nicoleflynn]

I am so sorry; perhaps seeing a therapist would help. xoxo