I am so sick of this i am exhausted and now i feel worse i dont know what to do. I thought i was getting better at not reacting but i guess i was wrong. I didnt even speak to them i just saw them.

[Rohag]

I do not know how even just seeing a person can completely ruin one's mood, but it happens. It happened to you; it has happened to me. It's a real phenomenon worthy of serious research.

Trying to pretend to not feel what I feel has never worked for me.

[gayleggg]

Our minds tend to jump at the negative, especially if we have bad karma with a person already. Take a couple of deep breaths and ignore the person. Don't let that negative feeling take over. It's not easy to do but we can train ourselves to ignore certain train of thoughts. It takes work but it's worth it.

[Fuzzybear]

[JennaMarie]

One thing I like to keep in mind is that nobody can hurt you mentally without your permission. Cognitive behavioral therapy has helped a lot at working towards this.

I had thought I had trained myself to ignore them but the minute I saw them I strated to feel very depressed and anxious and that feeling didn't go away all day I have only just woken up so I will see if it persists for another day but so far it still seems to be there.

[Jupi]

My soul can feel when demons who portray as humans are nearby. When this happens, I excuse my self discreetly away from those demons so that I am safe away from evil. I think that is a gift that I was granted and it's helpful but it takes away my life time because it hurts my body internally.

Perhaps she is a demon although personally I think demons are evil because it is their nature and that in a sense is how it is meant to be but I think this person is choosing to be mean so I think it makes them worse.

[(JD)]

Work on learning a set of sentences to tell yourself... over and over... until it's habit and kicks in when something like this begins again... it will help change your mood, your reaction...and with time will prevent such a reaction.

The "mantra" needs to address the truth of the situation.... stay away from what you feel is truth... but it has to be yours... something along the lines of "She can't (hurt) me...I only saw (see) her.... she doesn't affect me any more, I'm okay."

[vital]

Originally Posted by eden1515

I am so sick of this i am exhausted and now i feel worse i dont know what to do. I thought i was getting better at not reacting but i guess i was wrong. I didnt even speak to them i just saw them.

Hi eden,

I know what to do.

This kind of thing used to torture me. I could be sent into a tailspin just by hearing someone who had a voice similar to the voice of a person who was upsetting me!

You can actually stop that stuff dead in it's tracks with a little training. I highly recommend trying this because it's not only easy and fun, but the moment when you really realize that you don't have to suffer anymore is incredible.

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

- vital

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by eden1515

I am so sick of this i am exhausted and now i feel worse i dont know what to do. I thought i was getting better at not reacting but i guess i was wrong. I didnt even speak to them i just saw them.

My ex and a few others have that affect on me too. With one person I know, all I have to do is hear her name and it sends me into a frenzy! I mean, instantaneously infuriates me! Then, I find myself even more angry that I let anyone have that much control over my emotions like that. I don't get it either.

I do try not to let them influence my emotions so much but I had not seen them for a while and when reintroduced if you can call it that I hadn't realized just how badly their presence made me feel.

[vital]

Originally Posted by Alone & confused

My ex and a few others have that affect on me too. With one person I know, all I have to do is hear her name and it sends me into a frenzy! I mean, instantaneously infuriates me! Then, I find myself even more angry that I let anyone have that much control over my emotions like that. I don't get it either.

IT'S A TRICK Alone & Confused! Happy, well adjusted people also get upset if they see their exes in the right situation. It goes like this:

Happy, Well Adjusted Person seeing their Ex
============================

Sees Ex.
INTENSE PAIN, ANGER!!
20 seconds later: Meh, I've got to remember to get shampoo at the CVS.

Depressed Person seeing their Ex
=====================

Sees Ex.
INTENSE PAIN, ANGER!!
How could she leave me?
Was she cheating on me before?
How could she do that?
Why does this always happen to me?
Will I ever be happy?
My life is so screwed up.
Is she bad-mouthing me behind my back?
Who is she with now?
That time when she did XXX, it really made me mad.
Why was I such an idiot and did not to see the signs??
My so called friends should have warned me. Did they know?
How could she leave me like that?
I sent her a card after the break up, what a pathetic loser I am!
I'm never going to find someone.
.....
2 days later: Ugh, I forgot to get shampoo at the CVS. I AM SUCH A LOSER!!

THIS IS THE BIG TRICK:
===============

The problem is NOT YOUR EX. The problem is not your specific thoughts or feelings and whether they are insightful or accurate or justified (they often ARE insightful, which makes them all the more enticing). The problem is that you are in pain and have unconsciously stopped deciding what to think and what to do and have let your brain slip into autopilot mode without noticing it. The ESSENTIAL problem, the only real problem, is slipping into autopilot mode.

See:

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

- vital