[Monokuma]

I used to have my life together, i knew what i wanted, where i wanted to go, how i wanted to life, who i wanted to be. Until some problems occured, so i had to give up my dream in my still early age and started working. And now 2 years have passed and i'm feeling stuck now. Nothing really has changed in my life so far. I tried to chase my dream again but all my efforts turned out wasted, so now i don't even care anymore yet it made me depressed. Painful reality. Changed job to a better one several times but still, nothing really changes. I tried to stay positive but it doesn't work anymore. Now i feel like so tired and empty, not motivated to do anything lately.

Now my everyday life is just working, eating etc yet i don't feel alive. I didn't even feel happy during holiday or trips. I often feel mad and self disappointment when i see or heard my friend's life because i spent my years feeling like i want to jump off a cliff while they having the time of their lives and being in love and achieved something better and i'm just kind of there. Dunno what am i doing with my life

idk if my my life is actually horrible or i'm just going through a scene phase.
Nothing good comes easily but idk it'd be this hard..

[kaliope]

abraham lincoln said, when you do good, you feel good.

so start small and find those things that make you feel good. if your job is unfulfilling, what is it going to take to have a job that makes you feel good to do each day? what can you do on your weekends to make you feel good? what is one good thing each day that you can revel in?

[shamon86]

Hi Monokuma,
I can completely relate to what you are saying here. 10 years ago I had a picture of what my life would look like at 29. It was something to look forward to and I just thought it was the natural progression of things. I didn't know that my mom would die when I was 21, or my dad would remarry years later and kick myself and my brothers out of the house we grew up in, I didn't know I would go through 3 different jobs and still not be able to find one that lets me afford my rent or that I would be diagnosed with MDD and that my dad would tell his entire family who now all think I'm crazy. I recently got back in touch from a friend from a couple years ago, who I wanted to catch up with, and now every time I think about all the things that have happened since her and I lost touch, it's never anything good. And I don't think she wants to hear that so that's probably not going to happen.
My life at 29 is eat, sleep, work. And that's all I have to look forward to, which isn't much.
You don't have to have a "horrible" life to be depressed about it. You don't have to have a reason to be depressed. You can feel however You feel and just know those feelings are valid, regardless of what your life looks like in comparison to someone else's.

[francisR]

Hi Monokuma

I'm sorry that things are not so good for you. But there has been progress you have stuck with employment and even got a better job. But perhaps more is needed. This could be having a consuming passion for something in life, such as a charitable cause that attracts or reconnection with something that fired you up earlier.

I know that your friends and people you know seem to be having a great time. But in reality you can be sure that they have their problems. to deal with. Also. And I often wonder whether those people who seem to be having such success would have done even half as good or been able to function at all. Had they had the depression we have to deal with.
However, with good medication and therapy skills to deal with the depression quality of life always does improve. I hope and pray it will for you soon. Have a really great day. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis