[Kat4212]

As far back as I can remember I have always been depressed, lonely, and very angry. Never fitting in my family, at school, or work. Always wanted to feel invisible around people or fading into the background where people just did not see me. If they did not see me they could not reject me. Want no one to touch me, went the other way when I felt someone wanted to hug me. It has been so hard to accept that people care that I just turned away from people all my life. I am a 57 year old woman and I feel so alone.

[lavendersage]

I'm sorry for your hurt and pain. Are you in therapy? Taking any meds? Do you work?

[Kat4212]

Originally Posted by lavendersage

I'm sorry for your hurt and pain. Are you in therapy? Taking any meds? Do you work?

I do see a therapist and do take meds. And I do work but I am close to walking away from the job.

[lavendersage]

Oh my. Maybe your meds need adjusting? When's your next appointment? If it's not this coming week, could you call and discuss how you're feeling via telephone call? Maybe your T could make a med adjustment?

You don't seem to have a support network of family and friends. Is there a TV show, movie or activity that you enjoy that you could do to make yourself feel a little better?

I'm feeling a bit of a loss because I'd typically suggest support groups and or social activities (meetup.com) but that doesn't seem to be your thing.

If you're comfortable sharing, are there any things that your T has suggested that you try?

One thing I know is if you keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result....not a recipe for success. Sometimes you have to break out of your comfort zone to effect meaningful change. And, yes, I know that is NOT easy.

[TheOriginalMe]

Originally Posted by Kat4212

As far back as I can remember I have always been depressed, lonely, and very angry. Never fitting in my family, at school, or work. Always wanted to feel invisible around people or fading into the background where people just did not see me. If they did not see me they could not reject me. Want no one to touch me, went the other way when I felt someone wanted to hug me. It has been so hard to accept that people care that I just turned away from people all my life. I am a 57 year old woman and I feel so alone.

I am like this too and feel incredibly lonely but don't know how to fix it. I have found that posting on this site has helped me make friends and feel less alone. Somehow online friendships offer the comfort and support I crave but with the safety net of not being seen or touched. I hope Psych Central helps you too.

[francisR]

hi Kat

I have been depressed all of my life. Also, and I am 72. But have managed with the use of therapy skills to bring it somewhat under control so that now the quality of life is much better. So achieving this is doable.

Do you think that having the medication looked at to have it strengthened was changed would be helpful? Do you think that your therapist is giving you good skills to manage depression. CBT is good. I use acceptance and commitment therapy, which is based on the research, which has determined that, trying to get rid of symptoms only makes them worse so you start to accept them. What I do is say to myself, I am experiencing depression and watch that feeling disappear from the mind. And keep doing that till the symptoms stop. Which they always do, and at the same time I get on with the business of the day. Simply keeping the mind occupied. Doing things, especially enjoyable ones distracts from depression.
You could consider going on sick leave for a time to give yourself space to get a grip on depression. Though you could look around for another job that would be easier for you and having the one you have would make reemployment easier.
I do believe that having a purpose in life helps people. It could be a charitable cause, or something that fired you up in earlier times, which will give meaning and purpose to life.
There is Nami the organization for the mentally ill and they run peer. to peer support groups affording the opportunity to make new friends. And with fellow sufferers. we are all on a level making socializing easier. You can Google them and get in contact with them to see if they run the service in your area. I hope and pray your week will be really good. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis

[JohnCrow]

Originally Posted by Kat4212

And I do work but I am close to walking away from the job.

Do yourself a HUGE favour and don't

Burning bridges is something that only makes things worse

I had a decent job but a horrific low made me walk away in anger. And, here I am 5 years later with no permanent job

As bad as it is, endure

Please

[Sesiley]

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

I am like this too and feel incredibly lonely but don't know how to fix it. I have found that posting on this site has helped me make friends and feel less alone. Somehow online friendships offer the comfort and support I crave but with the safety net of not being seen or touched. I hope Psych Central helps you too.

Yes, me too...

It gets me depressed...down, lonely. Psych Central helps some...

I feel unimportant..I feel lost...I feel hurt...I feel like nobody cares enough which gets me to think that the one person who will truly love me is myself.

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[Tauren]

Wow. Where do you think your fear of rejection came from?