Major Depressive Mood Swings

I'm trying to work on my self-esteem and confidence so that I can be more successful in life, and while on some days I make great strides and see clearly why it makes sense to be confident, other days (like today), I sink low into depression and suicidal thoughts. Last time this happened (a few days ago), it was so bad I told my mom that I felt like no one loves me, or ever will, and I wanted to kill myself so badly. She called my therapist for an emergency appointment, but by the time I got to that appointment (yesterday), I felt a lot better about everything and had no idea what I was thinking before, or what I'd even tell the therapist. I felt like I didn't need therapy. I've been getting my life in order, and I got a lot done. Tonight I guess I got stressed out by having to discipline my dogs for marking all over the house, so I feel like a failure, dogs are too much work, and then more depressive thoughts started pouring in and I had some suicidal thoughts again.

I'm up and down all the time. The downs can be quite scary, and then they're gone in a flash. What should I do? Just manage it and keep working on my self esteem? It seems like the downs are worse when I know I should be confident and positive instead.

Hello, BlueCrustacean. Please consider giving your therapist a copy of your post.

I agree with Dern about giving a copy of this post to your therapist. I think that could be really helpful. I experience mood swings like that too, so I don't think it's that uncommon with depression. It sure does suck, though. I'm lifting up a quick prayer for you.

hi BlueCrustacean

That your moods go up and down like that might suggest that you need a mood stabilizer to regulate them. The doctor should be able to advise about that. But that you come up again after being down is reassuring because then you know the bad periods will not last.
When things go wrong, like the dogs marking the floor. It is important to remember that this is just one thing gone wrong, and that you have got a lot of other things right, which helps you to keep things in a balance perspective to help with your self-esteem. Also making a list of all the things you achieve and reading it when you are tempted to feel bad about yourself will help to counteract this feeling.
Don't worry about the suicidal thoughts. They are just thoughts and can't make us do anything as we are in charge of what they do. Getting a lot of stuff done should make you feel good as you are achieving well. I hope and pray you have a really great day. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis

Blue -- You probably need a med adjustment or possibly even switch to something else. Get with your pdoc and let them know, that is not good. I'm going through the same thing right now and that those swings likely not have anything to do with esteem issues.

Hi there,

I think that you might benefit from reading these notes:

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

and don't forget to check for regular medical problems. Here's what I think is the best overall plan:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

- vital