[Kat4212]

Just left the courthouse today feeling like a failure, but that is not new. In 2014 I quit paying on my bills. Found this law firm that does debt settlements to help you get out of debt. I was so in debt, so depressed, the cutting came back, all the old things in the past came back. I thought that I had everything in place in my mind, like different closets in my mind where each problem that I did not want to deal with safely in a place that it could not come out unless I opened the door. Does that make sense? It does to me. With about 45,000 in debt, which I brought things that I thought would make me happy but it did for maybe a few minutes. Then it was onto the next item, etc. so since 2014 I have managed to pay off 13 of my creditors or settled with them. Right now I have 3 creditors that have taken me to court, which I had to be in court today and this past Monday. 2 of them we have agreed on a settlement, the 3rd one is being a pain the the ***. But I have until Nov. 16th to try and figure out something. After I left the courthouse I felt very much like a failure which has always been how I see myself. I don't cry very much but today I did. It hurts so much inside and I really don't know what to do. I want so much to talk to my T but I am afraid she might talk about the partial program or the hospital. Right now I do not want to here that. I am not cutting or thinking about hurting myself. Just need to talk for a bit with her. I need to get to work anyways and I see her tomorrow so hopefully what I feel will get better in the next while. Just saying what I have has sort of helped.

[CANDC]

Hi Kat. Wow, you actually managed to pay 13 creditors! That is fabulous. You should be proud of yourself. You settled on a payment schedule with 2 others! Wow!

Why not tell your T how proud you are of your accomplishment. Only one more to go. Hopefully that is not too big. You can find a way.

Good for you not cutting or hurting yourself. That is great. Keep up the good work.

Have a good meeting with your T.

[vital]

Originally Posted by Kat4212

Just left the courthouse today feeling like a failure, but that is not new. In 2014 I quit paying on my bills. Found this law firm that does debt settlements to help you get out of debt. I was so in debt, so depressed, the cutting came back, all the old things in the past came back. I thought that I had everything in place in my mind, like different closets in my mind where each problem that I did not want to deal with safely in a place that it could not come out unless I opened the door. Does that make sense? It does to me. With about 45,000 in debt, which I brought things that I thought would make me happy but it did for maybe a few minutes. Then it was onto the next item, etc. so since 2014 I have managed to pay off 13 of my creditors or settled with them. Right now I have 3 creditors that have taken me to court, which I had to be in court today and this past Monday. 2 of them we have agreed on a settlement, the 3rd one is being a pain the the ***. But I have until Nov. 16th to try and figure out something. After I left the courthouse I felt very much like a failure which has always been how I see myself. I don't cry very much but today I did. It hurts so much inside and I really don't know what to do. I want so much to talk to my T but I am afraid she might talk about the partial program or the hospital. Right now I do not want to here that. I am not cutting or thinking about hurting myself. Just need to talk for a bit with her. I need to get to work anyways and I see her tomorrow so hopefully what I feel will get better in the next while. Just saying what I have has sort of helped.

Hey Kat,

It sounds to me like you're holding up f a n a s t i c a l l y well in a situation that would make almost anyone upset.

Your story reminded me right away of Eckart Tolle, because he also went through a giant depression and a bankrupcy (before selling his millions of books). I think you might like his stuff if you google it.

Keep in touch with us and let us know how it's going.

- vital

I can feel your pain in your posting. I'm sorry that you're hurting so much right now.

I have to say, though, that I am extremely impressed that you have dealt with 13 of 16 creditors! I have been in "the debt place" before and remember how horribly stressful it is.

Hugs.

[francisR]

hi Kat4212

There is no reason for you to feel like a failure. In fact you are very successful, having paid off 13 of your creditors and come to terms with another 2. Please God the last one will come to terms also. If some of the things you bought you don't want now. you could consider selling them on eBay or Amazon to raise more money.

Because you are not cutting or thinking of harming yourself your therapist would not be thinking about sending you to the hospital. Perhaps having the medication strengthened would be helpful. And being completely open with the therapist will enable her to give you the help you need. I hope and pray all goes well today for your meeting with her. Take care. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis