wiped out and overwhelmed

good afternoon,
I just sent an email to T describing my present mental state and pretty sure that I won't get a response any time soon. frustrating.

I have been smoke free for 36 days and if I thought smoking would ease my symptoms, i'd go back to it. '
I feel so numb and overwhelmed and like i'm just here to meet everyone else's needs. My parents need me to drive them to dr appts and run their errands. I'm a school nurse in a middle school, so you can guess what that looks like. Then I work long term care most weekends. I'm just plain tired. I go home by 4 and crash on my couch. no desire to do anything. I haven't showered in 3 days, because I just don't have the energy to do it.
I am taking my meds, but i still feel lost and numb.

sorry for the whinefest.

Don't worry about 'whinefest'

This is why this is here

Sometimes being able to vent can provide some precious relief

I haven't even got dressed yet. Saves on laundry is my excuse
I am unemployed and searching but cannot find anything - I work hard, want to work but a combination of poor choices and bad timing means, well, boredom

And boredom, not fear, is the mind killer

I have too much time to ruminate over my thoughts and they are all self-defeating

I am lost

And I cannot find the trail... well, anywhere, least of all someplace I could call home

I have something in common with you, in that I'm a middle school and high school science teacher, but I just don't have the energy for it. I feel overwhelmed and helpless and hopeless. I hope things get better for you soon.

Hello, guiltier65. Perhaps of benefit:

What If You Don?t Like Your Therapist? | Psych Central
Therapists Spill: How I Set & Sustain Boundaries | Psych Central
The Steep Costs of Caregiving | Aging Well
https://www.caring.com/caregiver-wellness
4 Secrets for Setting Rock-Solid Boundaries | World of Psychology
https://www.medicare.gov/contacts/#findsomeone&stateCode=KS|Kansas
https://www.caring.com/questions/med...mily-caregiver
https://www.caring.com/articles/paym...mily-caregiver

Are there siblings who could be helping you help your parents? If so, why aren't they?

Take care of yourself.

I hope your vent made you feel at least a tiny bit better.

When I'm depressed, everything's a chore for me too, even showering. It all just requires too much effort. But try opposite-action. That's when you take a look at how you feel and force yourself to do the opposite. If I'm depressed and I make myself get in the shower and go slowly, take my time, it's actually very relaxing and soothing. Force yourself to go for a walk around a few blocks. Go slow, take your time. Or play a few card games with a friend or one of your kids, etc. You're still sitting down not doing something that requires much energy but at least you're getting a distraction and socializing at the same time.

I hope your doc gets in touch soon.
And I hope you feel better soon.

I understand how you all feel. No pithy comments this time, I'm about as stuck and fed up as I ever have been. Trying not to get too used to the "whatever" mentality I'm getting a bit too comfortable with. I do understand.