Life is just so freaking difficult....

I'm at a horrible place - I cannot believe this is how my life turned out!

I'm repeating myself - but I'm on a pity party, and I really want to get off it, but I can't seem to do it. (Medication changes - on nothing right now).

1. Lost both parents last year (they were 59, I am 35). Only child
2. Quit job earlier this year - too depressed to work. Started looking 6 weeks ago - have sent out 22 resumes (to job ads, not just randomly). Not one of them has even called for an interview. Don't know if the 4 month gap without a job is scaring them off or what.
3. Boyfriend of 8 years (lived together for 6 years) left me in September 2005. Ended up marrying the woman he was cheating on me with (his commitment issues seem to have gone away - makes me wonder if he ever loved me or not). He doesn't care for kids (I don't have any , and while I like them, don't want any of my own). She has three kids. She also has been married 3 previous times. Whatever on that one.
4. A 19-year friendship ended just recently. Don't know what was going on w/my friend. She is angry 100% of the time, hateful, demeaning, etc. I am a pretty open, easygoing person. She is very opinionated. Something changed in me since my mom died. I used to just listen to her opinions and say nothing about my own. Now I'm not so afraid to say my opinions, but if they weren't the same as hers, she jumped all over me. My t kept encouraging me to re-look at the health of the friendship. She really changed in the last 1-2 years. I felt like I had to be on tiptoes all the time around her. Right in the middle of this last medicine change, she said she was ignoring me because I was grouchy (not normal for me) and she felt like she had to be on tiptoes around me. That was it - after being on tiptoes around her constantly - I had it. But it's sad after that long of a friendship. I know I'm not perfect in it, but I look inwards and try to fix things, with myself and with relationships. You couldn't/wouldn't dare suggest anything to her.
5. Another friendship is probably over (this one is a 22 year friendship). He had a drug problem a couple years ago. Don't think he is using now, but still has the selfish behaviors. 2 weeks after I quit my job (Mom had died 1 month prior) called and asked to borrow $5000 to buy a house - actually, it wasn't even like that - he called, told me he put in an offer on the house, and TOLD me he would need to borrow the money. When I said no, he said they were "dead in the water" without me. Never asked first. Haven't heard from him since.
6. I've gained 75 lbs. since breakup of boyfriend. Had gained about 30 before that, so I am now overweight by over 100 lbs.

I used to be a doormat - had trouble setting boundaries. I think now that I am getting healthier, I no longer serve my "purpose" to the old "friends". I still have problems where it seems like I don't get any respect. And I do love and respect myself (most of the time - I still sometimes have trouble saying no).

Don't know what to do about the job situation - do I take a lesser than what I want job in the meantime, so I don't spend every penny in my savings? Then it seems like you don't have time to look for a job like you should (am also going to school full-time).

I lot of major life changing events going on...

I would think that having money coming in is better than nothing especially since the job market seems a bit tight.

Over the last 15 years - I have reviewed a lot of resumes and have hired and separated employment with many individuals. Feel free to PM me for any specific questions.

Thank you so much for the offer. Not sure what PM is? Private messaging?

My biggest question is whether I should put a reason for leaving this last job.

The sad thing is that I've worked in management and even had Human Resource experience before, but I'm so down on myself right now that I don't even trust my own opinion.

I tailor the resume (pointing out accomplishments, etc.) to each job I am sending to. Also send a cover letter that points out the areas of skill and experience that most apply to the job I am applying for.

I'm going to give myself until June 15th (get medication regulated, etc.), then I will either start temping or find a job in retail or something. Was working part-time until recently for the friend mentioned in #4 of my post. I think that was the final straw - big mistake (working with/for a friend).

Yep - private messaging...

Sounds like you are doing a lot of things right!

When you get to filling out an application be honest about why you left - Family Health Issue - is all you need put.

Four month gap shouldn't be a problem...

When do you think a gap gets to be a problem? (At this rate, who knows how long it will be?) Do you think I should list the part-time job I had in the meantime up until a couple of weeks ago?

Gaps are not nearly as important as attitude, character, and skill set (usually made up from education and experience). I don't think there is necessarily a specific time that it becomes in issue. Some companies may eliminate if a certain gap is reached (I would think larger companies)...

PT job - Yes - could be helpful...

Best advice when looking for a job is to call every friend, relative, previous supervisors and coworkers to get the word out that you are looking. Word of mouth is still how we find our best people.

(((((((((((Ab))))))))))))))))))
I hope things start to look up for you.

Wow Direction You are really Smart!! Great advice! And I agree Life is difficult so in the meantime . . .
Be good to Yourself, keep writing to us we care a lot about you.Keep Getting up!With loving thoughts

It sounds like Direction has a lot of experience and good suggestions.

You have a lot of stressors in your life, and things are changing. Hopefully, you will come through all this transformed, head held high, and proud of what you've achieved.

Hang in there.

Thank you direction - that is a huge help.

Thanks to everyone else as well. I am so glad I found this site.

Ann