Hopeless and Lost

I have written about some of this before so sorry for the repititation. I was diagnosed with ptsd and gad as a result of my past life. I work hard to keep my kids getting what they need and have been exhausted for a long time. Last month they also added depression and changed my meds.
I have had a ton of anxiety and am very insecure about the few friends I have. I have a friend, we have a lot of the same past problems, we tried dating but he started to struggle and we put things on hold. Last week I asked for help, just wanted to talk and have some tea but he blew me off and was a little mean about it when I tried to explain. I am trying hard not to isolate myself and just thought I could depend on someone, I was wrong. I am still hurt and feel pretty abandoned and have walked away.
There is another friend that always takes and when I was really low it started again and I said so, we had words and I am afraid to even say anything now.
Now I am alone, I feel so guilty, scared. There seems to be no hope and if I didn't have my kids I wouldnt even try. Why can I never find a friend, why am I always alone.

I'm sorry that you're going through this.

I am also very alone. With out my kids and work I would have very little if not no interaction with other people. I try to connect and make friends but it never works. I have a really hard time excepting the fact that after all these years alive I have no close friends and few casual friends.
Maybe we can help each other figure this out. There must be a way to get friends that we did not try. Other people can do it why not us.

@BBB2 Thanks!

@marct it sure would be nice to figure it out. Maybe we can try!

Sorry life is so hard at the moment. (Even that sounds empty, but I really mean it).

I have to try to believe you mean it Frizzyo or it becomes worse. Thank you.

I feel your pain. I can't say I honestly have any real friends. I have people I talk to on occasion. It's hard going thro life without any real friends. There are times when I honestly don't mind just being left alone but there are them times when we all just need someone to talk to or a shoulder.

I'm in the middle of a separation right now with my wife and I can say it really sucks not having anyone to talk to. The best I can say is try to keep yourself busy. Let your mind wander alittle so as not to focus to much on what is ripping you apart atm. Try to find any type of hobby that can keep you safe and busy. From my very short time here it seems this place has alot of caring people so use that tool. Friendships can come in weird ways from what I've seen, even if it is just an internet friendship it can still be something.

@Needeles Thanks. I am sorry you are going through a hard time too! I have been there and it is painful even when it is a bad marriage.
I had spent almost all my life alone and was used to it and the friend I just lost was the first real one I have had which makes it more painful. If I never knew that even for that short while I think it would be less painful.