[beingawallflower]

I have an unusual issue. I have very low self-esteem,and am uncomfortable in all social situations. This sounds like social anxiety, but the weird thing is that I never exhibit physiologically signs of anxiety - I'm very calm and relaxed around other people.

However, I literally cannot think of what to say to others. I can do the basic small talk thing, but after that, my mind is totally blank. When I do think of what to say, I can only articulate a few words or a sentence at most. This is detrimental to all of my relationships, which in turn, makes me very depressed.

In high school, I had a good group of friends. We were all academically focused but we had fun too. Once I got to college, I was nervous to branch out and so I didn't venture outside of my close friendship with my roommate. I had very few friends during my freshman year because I struggled to make connections with people. I have continued to struggle with this issue for the entirety of college.

I'm having a really hard time concentrating in school right now because all I can think about is this deficit in social skills. I know I can ask people questions about themselves, but I also need to contribute myself. However, I can never come up with any stories to tell from my day to day life.

It also feels like I have a terrible memory, because my mind is always really empty. I've gotten good grades in school for a while, but as far as general knowledge - it feels like nothing's there! I'm thinking that's partially because of the depression I feel, but I know that the depression is caused by feeling alone, which I can't really solve. Vicious cycle. I am involved in clubs on campus so it isn't like I don't have the opportunity to talk to people. I try my best but every time I simply have little to contribute. I don't want my life to end up this way because I am constantly sad about this and it's no way to live.

[Fuzzybear]

[vital]

Originally Posted by beingawallflower

I have an unusual issue. I have very low self-esteem,and am uncomfortable in all social situations. This sounds like social anxiety, but the weird thing is that I never exhibit physiologically signs of anxiety - I'm very calm and relaxed around other people.

However, I literally cannot think of what to say to others. I can do the basic small talk thing, but after that, my mind is totally blank. When I do think of what to say, I can only articulate a few words or a sentence at most. This is detrimental to all of my relationships, which in turn, makes me very depressed.

In high school, I had a good group of friends. We were all academically focused but we had fun too. Once I got to college, I was nervous to branch out and so I didn't venture outside of my close friendship with my roommate. I had very few friends during my freshman year because I struggled to make connections with people. I have continued to struggle with this issue for the entirety of college.

I'm having a really hard time concentrating in school right now because all I can think about is this deficit in social skills. I know I can ask people questions about themselves, but I also need to contribute myself. However, I can never come up with any stories to tell from my day to day life.

It also feels like I have a terrible memory, because my mind is always really empty. I've gotten good grades in school for a while, but as far as general knowledge - it feels like nothing's there! I'm thinking that's partially because of the depression I feel, but I know that the depression is caused by feeling alone, which I can't really solve. Vicious cycle. I am involved in clubs on campus so it isn't like I don't have the opportunity to talk to people. I try my best but every time I simply have little to contribute. I don't want my life to end up this way because I am constantly sad about this and it's no way to live.

Hi beingawallflower,

It IS a vicious cycle. It sounds like you understand what's going on pretty well. Depression leads to chronic stress, which really makes your brain function MUCH less well (which probably explains the stuff you're talking about)...which leads to more depression.

I have a suggestion about how to break out of it that has worked for me and quite a few other people. It's easy to try, safe and even fun to do and it really works:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

- vital

Were you able to talk to your friends in high school about your everyday life and make conversation easily with them?

[beingawallflower]

Thank you vital. I will look into those resources!

I was able to talk to my friends in high school, and I was able to talk to more people as I approached my senior year. I don't know what has happened since coming to college.