How can I get help?

I wake up feeling so depressed until the end of the day. I am in college, so in class I fake it with my peers and no one ever know. But when the doors close and I am alone, I feel like a failure, I cant stop thinking about my traumatic past,I cant let go and always cry. My mother has mental illness but she does not think I suffer from depression because she does not want me to have the same traumatic experience she had being mistreated, taking meds and was in a mental hospital.
But, I just need help, I am a junior, I need guidance or something to push through, help me make friends, finish my major and be active in my college.
I am 20 years old, is there any way I can use my insurance and see a doctor on my own. My mom is paying for my insurance and I am afraid she would find out.
Any suggestions?
Thank You

Have you checked into your university's health care system? Most universities have a student counseling/therapy program that should be free. If you have insurance through your mom you can use it but if there's any charge involved she will see that on her statement. Maybe you need to talk to your mom about how you're feeling and she will support you in seeing a therapist or pdoc?

Hi RunswiththeEagle,

I'm sorry to hear that you are having this kind of problem. College is a very typical time and age for depression and anxiety to show up, but it's extra tough then because it's already a stressful environment with lots of demands.

Does your college have a counseling center? If it does, you probably could get some information there about options available to you.

As far as using your health insurance, if you are on your mom's policy, then yes, it's very likely that she would know if you saw a psychiatrist or psychotherapist.

One thing you could do that probably wouldn't cause a problem is to go to a primary care doctor to discuss your problems. It's always a good idea to do that anyway if you have depression. The primary care doctor can talk to you about general health and they often will treat mild depression without your needing to see a psychiatrist.

So if your college has a counseling center, you might be able to get counseling there and meds from a primary care doctor if they feel like you need them.

I have the type of depression where I wake up depressed and gradually feel better as the day goes on (unless my depression is too bad for that.) Some people wake up feeling okay then feel more depressed as the day goes on.

Depression is odd like that - things like sleep and appetite can get out of balance, but not always in the same direction. Some people can't sleep, others sleep too much. Some people lose weight because they lose their appetite, and others have increased appetite.

If you are not sleeping well, or if you're having a lot of trouble getting up on time in the mornings, it's important to let a doctor know that.

Anyways, that's my advice for now. Make an appointment with a primary care doctor or see your current one if you already have one (it can depend what your insurance allows.) And see if your university has a counseling center and find out if they can provide help to you.

If they don't have a counseling center, if you call United Way at 211, they are usually very good at knowing what sort of free or low-cost mental health facilities are available in your area.

I'm glad that you found the Psych Central forums. Lots of college students post here. It's a good place to talk about your problems in confidence, to get advice, and to see what other people are doing to handle similar problems.

Hugs.

Try talking to your mum again. Let her know that you are really struggling and need some support. In away she is trying to protect you but in another way she might not realize just how bad you really do feel.
I'm glad too that you found this forum. I would say seeing the doctor is a good idea . I don't know if your mum would know that you went to the doctors but I doubt she would no the reasons of your visit.
I wish you the best of luck.

Hugs

Sophie

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I think it would be a weight off your shoulders if spoke to your mother about this.. She may be of more support than you know and she, I am sure would not want her little girl to be suffering at a time like this. I know you are 20 but you will always be her little girl. Please talk to your mom . Best wishes

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Definitely look into counseling at your school

If you don't feel comfortable talking to your mother, definitely look into college counselling center or support services. If there are other universities nearby they may have a reciprocal arrangement so you don't have to go on your home campus.

If there is a crisis support or information and referal hotline in your area they may be able to help you find low cost counceling services.