[kossde]

I can’t handle my husband on SSRIs. He has been on and off of them since he was about 15 years old, but he has a history of turning into a jerk after taking them. For example, he has cheated on me, told me he doesn’t find me attractive, he has told me that he doesn’t love me, he doesn’t want to marry me, he didn’t want children (this was announced as we were trying to get pregnant), and numerous other SSRI-specific revelations while medicated.

When he doesn’t take SSRIs, he’s different, normal even, and someone I love very, very much. But when he takes them, I don’t like him, I don’t want to talk to him or be around him because I’m afraid of what he will say; and I’m absolutely terrified about what he may one day say to our son now that we have a child together.

Some general history – he was diagnosed with major depressive disorder when he was about 15 and has been on SSRIs the majority of his life since then. His family acts like he’s a powder keg waiting to go off, unpredictable and extreme. But that isn’t him at all. He hasn’t consistently taken SSRIs in the past two years, and he is stable, caring, a great father, and everything I could ever want. It’s only when he starts talking about taking them again that I start to panic. I feel like I have PTSD from back when he was on them before.

When I try to talk to him about this, he assures me that he has changed and that I should trust him to still be kind when he takes them, but I can’t seem to get over all the things he said in the past, and I can’t seem to make myself ok with giving him another chance on SSRIs. I am absolutely terrified that his antidepressants will ruin our marriage. He’s told me that it’s not my business or concern whether he takes them, and that I’m being abusive for trying to keep him from taking them, and he may be right. But I’m scared! What do I do?

[TishaBuv]

Whoa, you just opened my eyes to possible side effect I may have been having, too. Thank you!

Does he recognize that he did act terribly when he was on the meds before? Can you make a deal with him that if he starts acting up again, he'll stop taking them?

[CANDC]

hi kossde. Welcome to Psych Central. Sorry you have had so many tough experiences with SSRIs and your husband. Antidepressants can also push people into mania and some of the things you listed are symptoms of that. Can you talk with his prescribing doc and set up a warning system with symptoms to watch for and what to do in case this happens again?

[kossde]

CANDC - I can't speak to his prescribing doctor because he doesn't have one yet. He has been nursing a single bottle of Celexa for the last year, taking half a pill maybe 3 or 4 times a month at most. But at even half a pill, the personality change can be very, very extreme. Granted, most of the time he's fine. That is, he's fine until I do or say something he doesn't like, then he goes completely blank faced and starts calmly telling me exactly the right thing to rip my heart into pieces. Is it mania? Quite possibly. But, how do I protect myself and our son from it without hurting my husband? The last thing I want to do is make his depression worse.

TishaBuv - the problem with asking him to stop if things get out of hand is that I worry that by the time that happens, he will have absolutely no love left for me and simply choose to walk away rather than try to fix things. He has done that kind of thing before in previous relationships.

[Fuzzybear]

[Avril01]

. I'd go to his appointment with his pdoc and explain your concern. This is your problem as well. Welcome.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I am wondering about a possible misdiagnosis. As someone above mentioned an SSRI can actually cause a Bipolar person to enter hypo/mania. Irritability is a huge indicator.

[Avril01]

That's how we found out I was bipolar. I wend on abilify and about 3-4 months later I was manic.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[kossde]

My husband doesn't have a doctor prescribing him with meds right now. He's been nursing a bottle of Celexa for over a year - taking half a pill 3 to 4 times a month only and hasn't gotten a new doctor since we moved. He says it helps his depression within an hour or so.

As far as bi-polar goes, that's possible except that he doesn't seem bi-polar at all until he takes an SSRI. Without SSRI's, he is very stable except that he becomes depressed a few days each week (Usually on Sundays and Mondays).

Also, his depression confuses me. He can become depressed at the drop of a hat and likewise come out of it on the drop of a hat. The whole cycle will happen within the span of 24-48 hours.

Don't judge me for saying this, because I take mental illnesses and depression extremely seriously - my mother and brother both suffer from major depressive disorder, but my husband just doesn't fit the bill. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'm not entirely convinced he has clinical depression.

[EnglishDave]

I would also question diagnosis of MDD.

Placing the blame on the SSRIs for this sort of behaviour - if the diagnosis is sound - is also questionable. They are far more the symptoms of self-destructive self hatred caused by the MDD. I have followed that pattern myself whilst not taking meds and have done terrible things to myself and others due to alcohol and substance abuse while trying to self-medicate.

If medication is needed - perhaps Therapy would be more effective - it may need adjusting or changing completely.

Dave.

[kossde]

Originally Posted by EnglishDave

I would also question diagnosis of MDD.

Placing the blame on the SSRIs for this sort of behaviour - if the diagnosis is sound - is also questionable. They are far more the symptoms of self-destructive self hatred caused by the MDD. I have followed that pattern myself whilst not taking meds and have done terrible things to myself and others due to alcohol and substance abuse while trying to self-medicate.

If medication is needed - perhaps Therapy would be more effective - it may need adjusting or changing completely.

Dave.

Here's the thing.. He only takes SSRIs a couple of times a month, and it's only after he takes them that he gets this way. He also didn't take them the entire time I was pregnant and never acted like that. The symptoms are extremely specific.