Alone

As I've posted in another thread (I have no clue which one at the moment) my son, his wife and two small children live with me and our dogs. Today they left to go spend some time with friends watching the ballgame. My daughter lived across the street until she was evicted earlier this week and has moved...not where she wants to be but where her and her children have a roof over their heads.

Over the 12 years we have lived here, I've been home alone quite a bit and most the time cherished the quiet time to enjoy watching shows or just doing whatever came to mind...but tonight, I feel so alone and lonely, all I want to do is cry.

This round with depression is the worst I've ever experienced. I wish I had not lost my job a year ago and had to stop taking my meds because without insurance, I couldn't afford them and although I have been put on prozac its only been two weeks and I know it takes 6-8 weeks to really get the full effect. It just seems I would be feeling some little relief now. Nothing really makes me smile anymore, I see more hopelessness than hope, I want to believe things will get better....and I just can't now. I'm just not sure I have it in me to fight my way out of it this time....at this moment in time, I don't really know anything anymore....

you have us....

Have you given yourself permission to feel depressed? I spent so much time fighting it that I lost myself. Once I gave myself permission to feel like crap I actually felt a lot better. I was feeling so down and feeling bad for being down. But, once I told myself I was actually allowed to feel that way my perspective change. Not overnight, but enough to ease the pain.

I have given myself permission..I think for a month I did nothing but lay in bed, in my room with the door closed crying and sleeping...I only came out long enough to let my dogs out because I knew no one else would..but thank you for your response and suggestion.

Hi Nissala,

You might find some good things to do for depression in this thread

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4715237-post156.html

You may get some ideas from this plan also:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

- vital