[Msnobody]

Sorry to bother. I usually don't like to ask for help and advice because I don't like to bother anyone. I am a 34 year old lesbian struggling with being bullied, severe depression and anxiety on top of ptsd

Possible trigger:

(was bullied and raped in the army years ago). I also been a domestic violence survivor/stab survivor/drowning and kidnapping survivor from my ex girl.

I recently lost s good job due to my depression and crying and shaking. Based on my experience and college background, I was able to get interviews. However when I get to the interview my head convulses and my eyes go back due to my severe anxiety. That also happens on the train. I don't know what to do anymore. I tried. I even had to quit college and national society of leadership due to my finances because I recently lost my job. My former boss also said she will make sure I get unemployment. She lied. Unemployment wants to do a 3 week investigation which can also hurt my credit. I feel so suicidal and tried everything but scared of pain. I been in and out of hospitals and they only make me worse. Therapists included. I'm at my wits end.

Possible trigger:

Can I just hire someone to end it all?

[Pierro]

Welcome to Psych Central Msobody. You have been through so much in your 34 years and you have so much more of your life ahead of you. My heart goes out to you, don't feel like you are bothering anyone here, we are here to help and support you.. Have you seen a doctor for you severe anxiety? Perhaps there are a lot of unresolved issues in your life and it would help you if you were to talk to a health professional. To be unemployed is bad enough, and having to deal with your past which has ultimately had such a strangle on your mental health, but cut yourself some slack. Be kind to yourself. You need to see a professional to resolve these issues and eventually move forward in your life. You seem like a very intelligent lady, and I hope everything works out well for you.

Msnobody. Welcome to PC. I know what it is like to be bullied. I had a civil union marriage last year. I have dealt with homophobia, gay bashing where we lived. My spouse flipped out and is gone. People can be very cruel. You must establish something to yourself first. You are not your sexuality as your identity, you are a person. Sexual preference is not what people see when they meet you. They see a robust, talented candidate for a job. I understand how people can affect your well being and make you angry, upset and want to explode or give up. Just live your life and ignore what people think or say of you. I had to learn that it is none of my business what people think of me. I took my power back and have peace since then. If i keep worrying about how others see me then i give them control mentally over my life. They are taking up space in my head for free. Take your power back, ignore what others think or say. Tell yourself you are a beautiful person with a lot of talent. Believe your boss who said you will get unemployment. In the meantime get a letter from your therapist that you are seeking professional help. That letter alone will get you your unemployment. If need be down the road it can get you disability. Take the time to believe that a power greater than yourself is working things out for your best interest. Use this time inbetween jobs to work on yourself in therapy, support groups. Reach out and make new friends. People here are not going to judge or bully you. hope this helps. tc. blessings.

[Msnobody]

I can't see a doctor or therapist. My last job ruined my chances for u employment and having health insurance all together. I have been hospitalized at least five times and all it did was ruin my credit. Thanks so much for answering.

[vital]

Originally Posted by Msnobody

I can't see a doctor or therapist. My last job ruined my chances for u employment and having health insurance all together. I have been hospitalized at least five times and all it did was ruin my credit. Thanks so much for answering.

Hi Msnobody,

I'm no expert about insurance but I suspect that there is some way for you to see a doctor. There are people on this site who know about that. You might send a private message to Caring Soul, for instance, but there are probably others who might be able to help.

Having you head convulse and your eyes go back in your head makes me think that you really should be working closely with a doc who understands what's going on. Being depressed and all that PTSD may make you think otherwise, but your life is precious and you deserve help.

I know of one book that might help you too, it's called "The Body Keeps The Score" by Bessel van der Kolk. It's about PTSD.

- vital

Unemployment wants to do a 3 week investigation which can also hurt my credit.

Sorry but I don't understand this, nor the reasoning it is up to the employer to secure unemployment. You plainly did not quit. You obviously did not get fired. So, I don't understand why any investigation would show you as not meeting criteria. It might take a bit, but you should qualify. As for affecting your credit this makes no sense to me.

Have you considered disability assistance?

[lavendersage]

Check out this website. It is legit. I've spoken to the woman who runs it on several occasions. She's a God-send.

I won an UI appeal through the advice I gained from her site.

Can You Collect Unemployment If... ?

[Msnobody]

Originally Posted by rcat

Sorry but I don't understand this, nor the reasoning it is up to the employer to secure unemployment. You plainly did not quit. You obviously did not get fired. So, I don't understand why any investigation would show you as not meeting criteria. It might take a bit, but you should qualify. As for affecting your credit this makes no sense to me.

Have you considered disability assistance?

Yes I have. I don't have enough proof that I am disabled since I haven't been able to see a therapist due to my anxiety since the last one snapped at me for not filling out the questionnaire fast enough. The only proof was me being hospitalized numerous of times and my scars.