[Patakova]

I came to USA 14 months ago, and my ex-girlfriend (2 years together) cheated on me 6 months ago and left me for another guy just 2 days after she broke up with she was posting stuff on social media, I was embarrassed, before that I was dealing with trying to find a job and I could only find hard work jobs like construction and fixings stuff, but after she left me I didn't have motivation and all my friends left my country to many other countries, I'm here with my parents and brothers but I'm 20 years olds and I don't have anything in my life, I tried exercising after she left me but I stopped two months ago, I can't study because I have to wait for my legal papers and finding a job is hard, sometimes I find a job every two weeks but it's only for 1 day and it's cleaning toilets or repairing things, I had so many plans in my life but I don't have friends here and my family doesn't understand how I feel, they think I'm lazy but back in my country I was working and studying but now I can't return and I don't know what to do here, I wish I'd talk to someone professional but it's so expensive and I don't have money, I stay in my room and sleep almost 15 hours a day, I know I need help but I just don't know what do to, I was normal, but this was too much for me, in 1 year everything changed, I'm going crazy, I have been playing on computer lately but after some hous I feel useless

[Linus VanPelt]

Hi, Patakova, and welcome to the U.S. and to Psychcentral. To some small degree, I do understand what you're going through. I made a long move with my parents right after high school to a new place where I knew no one and had to find a job and start college. On top of this, I was, and still am, suffering from bipolar depression. I found a job pushing a broom in a ship yard. I felt like such a failure. I was supposedly so smart yet, with no work experience, no one would hire me. But, the big thing for me and for you is we are here with our parents and brothers. They can be tough with us but they can also be caring and supportive. They just need to understand what you're going through. Depression is a disease just like cancer or heart disease. We and they have to be educated about it.
About your girlfriend, it's really tough when that happens. My fiancé was cheating on me and it took her mother telling me for me to believe it. I thought I was going to die. But I got better and found love again. My wife and I have been together for 25 years. Wow, that's hard to believe she's put up with my crap for that long but she has. She's an angel for all I've put her through and staying with me. Either that or she's as demented as I am.
Plus, you're 20 years old! You're just a kid! Just take your time and get use to how things work in the U.S. and you'll be fine. Yeah, you're going to have to work some crappy jobs in the beginning but, if you can make a name for yourself as a hard worker, things will get better.
And, yeah, professional help is expensive especially if you don't have insurance but there's a group called NAMI that can help. They have local support groups all over the country and they're free. Just look them up on the computer. Plus, this site is free and it has a lot of great people who know what you're going through and they want to help.
If I can help you in any other way, feel free to private message me any time. Good luck and I hope you find the support you need to get through this difficult time.

[Clara22]

Hi Patakova,
I hear you. I was an immigrant, too. I lived in the US for more than 10 years and then I came back to my country. Being an immigrant brings a lot of grief. Even if you are doing well economically. I hope you find support in this forum. It is a good place. Please, keep posting.

[gayleggg]

I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time. I know it must be hard to have lost your girlfriend and with social media it just rubs it in. Hang in there things can get better.

I hope you find solace in the forums. It's a great community and helps us overcome our loneliness. Keep posting, I'm sure you will make friends here to help you through this tough period. I can't imagine how hard it is to move to a new country and try to start a new life. I know it takes courage.

Welcome here.

I'm so sorry your plans went sour and changed. I send a hug for your finding yourself alone. I am happy to know you are working so very hard to turn things around. I think that is a pretty big deal.