I don't know how to stop

My boyfriend can't seem to deal with me when I'm really down and need someone to talk to. I will admit that it's usually a bad time, like he's caught up in something when a bad mood swing with strike and I go to him to help make myself feel right again. I am taking thyroid medication and a month and a half ago had my dose lowered by 50 mg because apparently it was too high, according to a blood test, despite me feeling perfect fine as far as being depressed went. I hadn't had a huge dark and depressing manic episode in months and then boom.. last night it hit after I binged on some cake and I just got super depressed. He was busy with work (he works from home) and at the time I didn't really understand that because he's usually on the computer whether or not he's working. But by the time I found out it was too late; he was already worried and kind of irritated and I was going on and on about my sadness and being swallowed by it.
We ended up talking for hours and hours but most of it was spent me talking and him just trying to get away from me. When I get so sad to the point of losing my mind, where my head spins and I have impulses to rip my hair out and hide somewhere and cry or racing thoughts of all my worries and issues, etc, I don't know who to turn to because he can't help me. He tells me he can't help me. He's tried and he just doesn't know what to say. I wish he could just listen and let me talk a little and be a little comforting enough for me to be okay again but he gets easily burned out. So I'm making a doctors appointment on Friday and will see a therapist again. I stopped seeing the counselor I was seeing for a few months when it turned out he couldn't really help me but instead direct me to a psychiatrist. So... yeah. I feel lost and so very sad and worried about having to deal with this alone. I hate chasing him away.

Hi Alysonov, welcome to psych central. This is a great place to share, rant and meet other people.

I'm very sorry you feel your boyfriend can't support you. When you feel super low and alone, that is the time to phone a crisis or suicide prevention helpline. (I don't know what is in your area, bit there are numbers at the top of the page, 'top depression resources' .

In my country I have had a lot of help from the Samaritans, especially when I feel unsupported by my husband. The volunteers on these types of helpline really want to support people in distress.

Don't forget to share here too, the more active you are, the more you are likely to benefit.

People here have helped me through some dark times and I really hope you get as much encouragement from this community as I have.

I just re read your post, if a blood test says you need to reduce a dose, that won't make it less effective, just makes sure it doesn't overdose you by mistake.

Hang on in there! ❤️