[gladi118]

This is my first post here..for as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with anxiety issues, and lately I’ve been feeling sadder and sadder. I just feel like I shouldn’t be around, and that I don’t want to be here anymore, but at the same time, I don’t want to die.

I’ve hurt so, so many people in my life and I just can’t forgive myself for that, I feel like I won’t ever deserve to be loved or married (which is an ultimate dream for me). I don’t really have anyone I feel comfortable talking to, I always think I’m bothering my friends, and lots of my family don’t understand mental illness.

Lately I’ve just been feeling so depressed, and I cry and get upset over little things. I never want to go out anywhere, and I just want to be alone mostly, but at the same time, I get so lonely.

My life is just one big complicated mess, I’m such an awkward person who comes across rude because I don’t know how to interact with others.

I’m sorry for such a lengthy, sudden post, but I just needed to get a few things off my chest.

[shadow2000]

Hi,

First of all, I'd like to welcome you to the Psych Central forums. I think (or at least hope) that you'll find this to be an understanding online community filled with people who take the time to offer helpful and compassionate advice to others who are facing similar problems. There are, in my opinion, some good people on this forum, and I'd encourage you to continue to make use of the forums here when you feel the need to express what's on your mind.

Living with issues related to anxiety and depression can be a challenge, but many with anxiety and depression find that their mental health challenges are less overwhelming when they equip themselves with tools that can help manage their mental health problems. I think that psychotherapy can be beneficial for individuals with anxiety and depression, especially when the type of therapy and the therapist are good matches for the individual needs of the person receiving psychotherapy. Reading books or online resources that offer coping strategies, techniques for developing thought patterns that are healthy and positive, relaxation techniques, and other psychological strategies for managing feeling of anxiety and depression can also be helpful. Others with anxiety and depression sometimes find that medications or alternative treatments help to relieve some of the distressing feeling that they experience. There are really a good number of tools available to help manage anxiety and depression, including some that I didn't mention, and while everybody doesn't find every tool to be helpful, I think that equipping yourself with the tools that you find to be most helpful is something to consider.

With respect to what you've been going through, I think that you'll find that a lot of us here on these forums can identify with at least some of the challenges that you're facing, so if there's one thing that I can say, it's that you're definitely not alone. I know that I too would definitely describe my life as "one big complicated mess" as you did, in part because I too have some difficulties interacting with others. It can be incredibly challenging for those of us with mental health challenges to build lives that even resemble the lives that we envisioned ourselves living at an earlier age. However, even though our lives may look nothing like what we'd like for them to look like, I think that doing what we can to make our lives and the lives of those around us the best that they can be is a worthwhile endeavor. And I think that everybody deserves the opportunity to build the best life possible, even if we've done some things in our past that we deeply regret. I know that you said that you have trouble forgiving yourself for having hurt other people in the past, but I don't think that your past misdeeds make you undeserving of the good things in life that you'd like to have. We all mess up in life, and while we should do our best to avoid messing up again, I think that resenting ourselves too much can get in the way of doing what's really best for both ourselves and for others.

Well, I hope that you'll find at least some of what I've written here to be of some help, but even if you don't, I'd like to encourage you to keep posting here and reaching out for help and advice when you feel the need.

Take care.

[Fizzyo]

Hi and welcome back. I hope you get the support you're looking for.

Gladi118, i loved your post. We all have screwed up from time to time. First, you must forgive yourself. None of us can live this life perfectly. That is not a possibility. Secondly, you have to forgive others who hurt you besides forgiving yourself. Then you can feel better about yourself. why beat yourself up over the past and live in the past when the present is right in front of you? and none of us are deserving of a lot of things yet by the Grace of God we have them, cause He loves us. And he loves you. So pick yourself up, know that you are precious and of great value. And forgive yourself, love yourself and start ever so gradually to move forward. Don't let negativity rule your life by taking up space in your head. Think on good positive things and one day you will wake up and see life has change. Hang in there, it does get better, one day at a time. blessings.

[Fuzzybear]