[imstarlord89]

My life sucks and it's my fault. I was expelled from school when I was in the seventh grade for threatening someone. After that I had to go to a reform school for a year before I could return to regular school. During that time I barely did any work and failed that year. The next year I returned to regular school I did even less work and failed again. Then I went to another new school the next year and worked my butt off where I made up two years plus that one year in just one year. The next year I didn't do any work and I failed. I was given the choice of either going to summer school or dropping out and getting my ged. I decided to get my ged. Seven years have passed and I still don't have my ged. I've tried several times to get it but can't find the motivation to study math which I struggle with the most. I also do not have license, I've never had a real job, and have never been in a relationship. Any money I get doing odd jobs I blow on pointless. My family passes off my mood as having a bad attitude and being lazy. The truth is I am depressed and I hide it very well. I have friends but I feel that I can't talk to them about my problems. I want to accomplish these things in life but don't have the motivation, drive, or will to succeed. More than any of those things I've always wanted someone I can talk to about anything.

[Skeezyks]

Hello imstarlord89: Overcoming depression can be a terrible struggle, especially when you're trying to go it alone. My personal experience has been that, as long as I have been willing to hide my mental health issues, everyone around me has been more than happy to play along too. They have their own problems. And they really don't want anything to do with mine if they can avoid it. This means that I have to deal with my own problems myself to the extent that I am able. In some ways I have succeeded. In other ways I have failed miserably. But it is what it is.

Perhaps, since you don't seem to be able to get the better of your depression by yourself, it's time to consider such things as therapy & / or antidepressant medications (assuming you're not already doing these sorts of things.) Beyond that, I would encourage you to keep posting here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more connected to the community you will become & the more likely it is you will find other members with whom you can share experiences & concerns. In that regard, I have read that the various chat groups are sometimes particularly helpful. You might consider giving them a try. My best wishes to you...

[passionfruit3]

I was homeschooled for a lot of my high school still managed to graduate but ive dropped in and out of college not even staying for a long time i haven't got my license due to disability and nobody will teach meive never had a boyfriend and im twenty three my mom suffers from empty nest syndrome and wants me to be her baby forever probably will at this rate with my disability and inability to advocate for myself .What i want to say is some things in your life are not so bad i could deal with having a job to blow money on or friends i could just have casual conversations with my friend only talk about suicide ive never had a job dont know anything about getting one.my disability prevents me from working but i always wanted one.but you just got to learn to be more greatful and heck maybe i do to cause it could always be worse

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[Fizzyo]

Hi imstarlord,

Skeezyks makes a good point. The only way to change things is one thing at a time, starting with your health.
I've had to retire early because of my health and I miss having the ability to work or study.

I hope you get support here and find a way to take baby steps forward.