[kotaha14]

I am a college freshman boy living in Tokyo, Japan. I want to discuss an issue I have for more than seven years. I found this website to find the solution to my issue, but lacked courage and have to wait for more than half a year to finally take a step here by typing. I had trouble adapting to the Japanese secondary education system. Until 11, I was enrolled in a top level IB school in Connecticut. Our family moved to Japan when I was 11, and I was enrolled in a traditional 6~7 year Japanese Boys school. There, I had trouble adapting to the exam-centered cramming knowledge type education method. From Monday to Saturday, I had to study more than 12 hours every day. The content of the education was something like "writing the same Chinese character 10000 times", "Memorising Exam Question." "Copying an entire textbook", and "Memorizing all the answers." This unbelievable inefficient education is a result of harsh competition between schools to get higher grades in exams. A student who failed is expelled from school and repelled from the society. Unsurprisingly, after two years, I got asthma due to stress. The following year, I got spontaneous deafness and lost my hearing. This, also a result of stress, gradually recovered but still affecting me to this day. Beyond my fourth year, I don't remember what happened much because I went completely peculiar. After graduation, I was set free. My mind, however, is not. That seven years felt like a semester long during elementary school period. The fundamental part of me is gone for good. After seven years of prison serving, I was thrown out in the society completely confused. I was gifted, but that thing is long gone with my fundamental part. Here, after wasting two semesters of freshman years, if I proceed this way, I would probably share the same fate as the Titanic.
The problem is nobody knows what to do.

[Mountainbard]

It must have been profoundly difficult for you, being dropped into the Japanese education system after being in American schools until age 11. I'm not casting judgment, but the Japanese education system truly is foreign to Americans in every sense of the word.

I'm glad you've found the courage to post here, and that you feel the need to take positive action. I am guessing that returning to the US is not a practical option for you. If so maybe you can make the best use of the resources you can find (including this website) in your healing journey. And I know you feel like you served seven years in prison. But that "sentence" is over, and when you can let go of it you will truly be free of it.

[kotaha14]

I have been trying healing myself for the past year or two but it's only a drop in the bucket and made no difference so far. When I see younger teens around age 11~17, I feel like I'm punched in the stomach really hard. Also, same thing happen when I see something I used to like. I think I need to take major action to change this giant thing. Small, medium action never helped me in any way.

[Benjithedog]

You are on the right track, the fact that you recognize the problem means you can deal with it. you need to find a psychiatrist, a cognitive behavioral therapist, and some friends that understand your dilemma. There are surely many military children in Japan that you might find had a similar upbringing/difficulty adapting to the change of school. Also, and this is only my own personal opinion, Marijuana. Not for everyone of course and possibly due to legality could do more harm than good but when I felt like I was losing my soul to school and the pressures to perform I found MYSELF again, as well as the ability to accept others, when I began smoking pot. I also found that completing daily tasks, dealing with physical pain, motivation to do tedious work etc. was infinitely easier with the help of a moderate amount of the drug. See the psychiatrist first to make sure you don't suffer from a form of schizophrenia and good luck. that grind is INTENDED to crush your soul. you have to find it again. don't let others standards decide how you will live your life.

[kotaha14]

Originally Posted by Benjithedog

You are on the right track, the fact that you recognize the problem means you can deal with it. you need to find a psychiatrist, a cognitive behavioral therapist, and some friends that understand your dilemma. There are surely many military children in Japan that you might find had a similar upbringing/difficulty adapting to the change of school. Also, and this is only my own personal opinion, Marijuana. Not for everyone of course and possibly due to legality could do more harm than good but when I felt like I was losing my soul to school and the pressures to perform I found MYSELF again, as well as the ability to accept others, when I began smoking pot. I also found that completing daily tasks, dealing with physical pain, motivation to do tedious work etc. was infinitely easier with the help of a moderate amount of the drug. See the psychiatrist first to make sure you don't suffer from a form of schizophrenia and good luck. that grind is INTENDED to crush your soul. you have to find it again. don't let others standards decide how you will live your life.

Marijuana? I could get capital punishment for that in my country! Psychiatrist here never helps. There just here to delete my soul and replace with socially accepted ones.