Some people have it easier?

I've noticed that many people seem to be able to deny or remain unaware of the tragedy and sadness that is inherent in life. A million former cute little puppies and kittens are tossed and euthanized every few months? People are starving and living in fear and oppression in Gaza?... "how sad, I'd like a some chocolate cake and then go shopping." They seem to have a built in circuit that limits the depth of memory of significant events such as deceased family, friends, and pets. I'm not saying that I dwell in the past and so should they. I'm not saying look at me, I'm so deep. But I am, for good or bad. And I have a memory that just doesn't quit. But I think I'm actually thankful for my awareness of what goes on in the world and of my depth of feeling. I'm anything but morbid or emo however. There are times I do envy those people.
Hey look guys, Michael finally opened up Take note, it may not happen again.

WXSW, location unknown, Area 51, the crater of the Moon, Dark side behind the moon and the rings of Saturn.... Yes some have it easier because they spread their focus in so many directions that it does not over saturate on one focus. I am not saying that is good or bad. Mostly, people are brain washed into rewards of acquiring to fill the void in their lives for there is an emptiness there that they choose not to fill but with all their wants and dreams. We have been trained to think of consumerism is success for a country. We have been taught to acquire a dream by massing a fortune, we have lost most of us our moral compass. Then there are the empathics like yourself that make up for most, but feel the great imbalance in the nature of the heart of mankind. One must have a balance to their soul for they were never meant to carry such heavy burdens. And that is a spiritual life which everyone claims to have the answer to and the only ones to be right. It is a sad reflection that mankind has to span the globe beyond his territories and desire what is not his in the name of "contentment". We are a most messed up breed of animal and need a cure, one mostly that i find is spiritual. Blessings... and ponder on that....

It's good you opened up. Really good. Don't stop. And don't don't stop believing in yourself.

If your talking about what I think your talking I dont like when people say that other people have it easier. It usta make me really mad and frustrated and not even a glimpse feel better about myself when people usta tell me that others have it worse then me. I believe that Everyone has their own hell they go through with a million strings attached theirs no way that someone has another situation like yours. So you cant compare

Everyone's brain is wired differently.

For some people (acting like) caring little is the only way of coping.

We're coping

I personally don't like whitewashing or ignoring bad situations. The world can be a dark place at times, and it's mindless imho to live in "blissful denial", or to "cope" by being cynical or burying empathy in a shallow grave. However, it's counterproductive to either simply dwell only on negatives all the time, or to assume that nothing can be done to improve a situation. I suppose it's a question of balance.

It's really not about the denial factor? Honestly I think the reason why people don't get more "emotional" over events that are so far removed from them is due to the fact that it's really just that. It's far removed and they aren't willing to change their entire lifestyle to go and help wherever the global issue is so why is it worth it to become more emotionally invested and only hurt yourself? Often times they're busy enough and immersed in their own lives to ever focus on anything else. Lots of people donate money or volunteer to groups that are better able and designated to help and call it a day. It's not that they're in denial about the events. It's just that it's not happening directly to them so they can toss it aside generally because their focus is on their life and their goals.

I used to ponder the big questions and wonder why the world was such a cruel place to be all the time before realizing that I could dedicate my life to it and still never find the answers. I'm not someone who can change global situations so I leave that to the experts, donate money when I can, and volunteer for my community on the weekends. For me it's not that I don't have the emotional capacity but that I knowingly place limiters on my thoughts and emotions because I don't have the ability to help more than I can.

what is mindless about coping mechanisms?

Also he didn't seem to have asked about morally superior ways to handle reality. He just shared something personal.

Saying it's all about balance is conveniently simplistic, not to mention condescending to the op.

OP, if you like to read, I can recommend thought poeces and personal essays on the human condition, which helped me gain a different perspective on suffering and pain.

As one of the shallow people OP is referring to....it doesn't affect me, so it's hard to care. Not only does it not affect me, but there isn't even anything I can do aboit it anyway. Yes, it's unfortunate, but it often registers as little more than a sad story, while my own inner psychological mess can drive me to tears easily; my depression has always been enormously egocentric, centering around my own worth, place, and prospects. I'm numb to one topic and hypersensitive to the other.

If that's not bad enough, I do have an especially empathetic side that just...comes out every now and then. Stories of people's suffering can drive me almost to tears in this mode, sad anything, however petty, hits me hard. Guilt doesn't help either. I have no idea why nor how this happens, it simply does.

I know, on some level, that I'm a bad person for being like this, that I have no right to feel this way, to feel bad at all with the life I've led, but it persists anyway.

Some people are born with more empathy, some with less.
I am very empathetic, too empathetic.
I can be sent into a depression easily by animal abuse to the extent l have to avoid news stories like that.
Not so much sympathy for humans I suppose because so often they are the perpetrators of violence. Trophy hunters and the like disgust me.

As a child the family cat was one of my best friends. He played with me I watched him eat, he followed me when I went for a walk.
Who am I kidding, he was my only friend.

My days were spent on my own in our long garden, I watched bugs, butterflies, spiders spinning their webs, listened to birds singing.
People never seemed kind to me.
Suppose thats why I am an eco warrior, its human greed that is destroying the planet.
I did have another friend as small child I'm told. I boy who only I could see.
I was a lonely kid.

My sister is like mother. Cold. Born a narcissist/sociopath she is hightly resislant, no empathy at all.

Everyone is born with a personality and that will determine how they cope with their environment.
Are some born nicer than others? Yes.
Are some people born evil or capable of evil, yes.
To me evil is:
Lack of empathy, without empathy without the ability to feel what others are feeling you have a narcissist/psychopath.

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk

I can relate a lot to what marmaduke posted.

I am very empathetic as well, which seems to make me more vulnerable to depression. I really *feel* for the people, animals, and Earth. I always have. I cannot tell you how many times I've cried when seeing sad things occur. Absolutely countless, and that's no exaggeration.

As a result, I have to avoid watching the news.
It probably sounds like baloney to most people, but others out there do know what I mean. The stories affect me physically and emotionally. It's unhealthy for me to keep on top of what's happening in the world.

I do care ~ too much.

Thanks George.

I don't consider myself an empath. I'm not particularly spiritual. I'm not sure I even understand spirituality. I pretty much agree with the rest of your post.
To anyone who thought my post was in any way directed at you or an implication that I have some kind of superiority... that's your trip not mine. In other words that says more about you than about me.
Posting in this forum may have given the impression that what I talked about is the cause of my depression. I don't think that it is although it certainly isn't helpful. Depression is completely different from worldview.
To those of you who read and made no assumptions... thank you

Me too. Sometimes I have to avoid the news completely to stay sane (well nearly sane)

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk

I know exactly what you mean. I think there's this paradox... you can't fully enjoy life unless you realize that bad things happen, and someday you will die. But if you focus on only those things, you won't enjoy life that way either. I believe there's something built in to our brains that stops us from fully feeling the horrors that happen to others, because it would drive us crazy. I've definitely noticed it getting to me more when I'm depressed though.

You should watch the music video for Brett Dennen's . The words and the video together illustrate what you're talking about in such a powerful way, I find myself watching it over and over. This video may be a trigger for some. For myself, sometimes it makes me incredibly sad, other times uplifted. It depends, I guess, on whether you focus on your own guilt at being like the people in the video, or your insight in realizing it, unlike the people in the video. Knowing what you know is half the battle. You can't help everyone, you can't make the world perfect. But you can pick your battles. You can donate money to no-kill shelters if that's what bothers you most. Or volunteer at a soup kitchen. Or go downtown and just talk to homeless people. Pick a few, and know that you're making someone's life better, maybe even saving a life.
Long ago I realized that though you may not be able to change the world, all you need to do is change someone's world. We all see things a certain way, and if you can help someone change the way they see the world in a way that will help them, then really, you have changed the world. That's why I always wanted to be a writer. I wanted to write one of those books that makes people realize they're not alone, that touches people on such a personal level that it changes their life. Because that's the most that most of us can do.

Another thing that helps to deal with this I think is what Dennen's saying here... Things have always been this way. It may be hard to see, but if you study history, you'll see it. People have always been oppressed. People have always had mental health issues. The world is constantly changing, but the big things always stay the same. I read a lot of books about Tudor era England. Back then, people were being burned at the stake for worshiping the earth or practicing herbalism. Still, if the king wanted to know his fortune, he'd go to a heretic. People lived in poverty with no chance of escaping, because they owned nothing themselves. The king would choose his favorite courtiers to be well-paid advisors. Advisors would betray the king if it benefited them. Pregnancies were hard and many children didn't live to adulthood. The Church told people how to live, and didn't even allow them to read the Bible.
You can look at these details and say the world today is totally different. But how different is it really? We still mistrust the people in charge, accuse them of playing favorites. People still betray their country for personal gain. Instead of the plague and dropsy, we have ebola and cancer. Instead of burning people for their faith, we bomb them. We have social welfare that often just keeps people in poverty. We still have black markets that supply things people couldn't get anywhere else. Babies still die, mothers still cry when they send their sons to war. Nothing ever really changes.
To love and be loved is the best we can do.

I was just reading this in a book about doing shadow work, embracing all aspects of ourselves etc... this is the late psychotherapist Barbara Hannah doing some combination of paraphrasing and quoting a talk once given by her esteemed mentor Carl Gustav Jung:
Not sure how relevant this may be to you but I'd found the comparison especially relevant regarding my expectations of others ..which I think are perfectly reasonable but not always realistic.