[SoScorpio]

Some days I wake up and want to cry for no reason.
But on the good days, all it takes is the tiniest thing going wrong to make me wonder how I could have felt good at all before it happened.

I keep making stupid mistakes at work. I've been at this job more than a year, I know all the processes. A few things have changed recently and I don't blame myself too much for making mistakes on those, because I don't adapt to routine changes well.
But I'm messing up stuff I know perfectly well how to do. Today I had a customer who was upset because her she dropped off her young daughter's dress and was going to have her wear it for a party this weekend, and it came back without the sash attached. I remember this dress. I remember the sash. I seem to remember my boyfriend being at work and helping me, and that he actually invoiced the dress. But he says he wasn't even here, that he remembers me telling him about it on the phone.
There are only two things to do with sashes and belts that are not attached to the garment: don't clean it and put it in a bag to attach to the order, or invoice it as its own piece and send it to be cleaned.
There is no bag attached, there is no sash on the invoice. I don't know what I could have done with it. If I didn't send it to be cleaned, it would be here somewhere. I can't find it.

It's something like this every week. And when I try to think back, I either can't remember working with the piece at all, or I remember all the details except the important one, about the missing piece. I can conjure up an image of that dress when it came back clean, and remember looking at it and thinking that it didn't come in with a sash. Only when the customer told me the color of the sash today did I remember seeing it. I cannot for the life of me remember what I did with it. In my mind I remember taking the dress from the customer, setting it on the counter with the other orders I needed to do, and then leaving it to do other activities. I could swear I remember doing other things while my boyfriend invoiced it. He swears he was not here.

What is happening to me?? Every time something like this happens I want to cry. I've always been forgetful, but this is different. Usually my auto-pilot is pretty good, once I've done something enough times, I barely have to think about it. Now it's seeming like when I go on auto-pilot, I'm not able to access the knowledge that I've always had. I've been just totally screwing things up and not even noticing. Even when I don't remember being overwhelmed, and thought I was concentrating on what I was doing.

A couple weeks back I actually sent a piece to our cleaning plant without even invoicing it. I put a barcode on it, and then apparently just threw it in the dry cleaning bag. The barcode is not associated with anything since I didn't invoice it, so we just have to wait for a customer to tell us they're missing a pair of pants.

I don't know how this is happening. I have a very solid routine, a certain way I do things that involves checks and heads-up points, strategies I use so I don't miss anything.

Every time this happens I just want to give up. I don't know how to keep it from happening again. I've gotten on the wrong bus twice in a month, when I've been taking the same bus for over a year. I feel like someone with down syndrome would be functioning better than me right now.

[lavendersage]

Maybe you're bored with what you do for work...it's easy to get careless when you're not really mentally and emotionally "engaged" in what you're doing.

How old are you? Hormonal changes can wreak havoc on concentration but so can mental health concerns (anxiety, depression, etc.)

Have you been to the doctor to get a thorough work-up?

If you see a pdoc and or T, have you told them about this recent difficulty? Meds (if you take them), can cause that sort of thing - especially if you're going up or even down on dosage.

[SoScorpio]

Well, it would be easy to believe with the job I have. Plenty of people have quit out of boredom, but I don't get it. It's pretty easy. It's detail-oriented, which is usually my strong suit: making sure buttons are undone, pockets are emptied, stains are treated, garments properly described in the computer, tagged with relevant instructions, and put in the proper bags. I thrive on this. And it's not too boring, because in downtime I have a computer. Almost all of my posts on here are made while I'm at work.
I actually like this job better than any I've ever had. I deal with people less frequently, at least in person. I work alone, which I like. I don't think it's the job that's the problem, though my boyfriend has suggested the same, only because I'm so much less depressed and anxious at home. I'm not agoraphobic or anything, but lately I just want to stay at home all the time. It just feels safe. I know what to expect, I don't have to worry about problems and conflicts. If I do start to feel bad, I have plenty of things to distract me, or at worst, I can go to sleep.

Anyway, I turned 25 in November. I've suspected for a couple years that some of my problem may be hormonal. I most likely have PCOS; doctors have observed excess fluid that suggests I had recently ruptured ovarian cysts, not to mention the softball-sized hemorrhagic cyst I got when I was 17. I've also tested slightly above the female norms for testosterone. I do know for a fact I have a defect in the MTHFR gene, which makes it hard for me to absorb B vitamins.
But all this I know from years ago. I've been on three-month birth control cycles for years, to reduce cysts and the like. I have noticed that I feel more depressed when I stop taking birth control, which does make me wonder if hormones don't play a large part.
Unfortunately, most B vitamins are not covered on my insurance, as they're considered supplements. I've heard of Deplin being used as an anti-depressant, but almost no insurance companies cover it yet. I do have a B-100 complex, but I just found out it has the wrong kind of B12 and I'm probably still not absorbing enough.

I haven't had any thorough work-ups recently, neither blood work or psychological eval. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist, the first since I was around 18, on March 3rd. That was the soonest they could get me in, and there are no other providers covered by my insurance. I checked. No one else that's not a specialty clinic that won't take me.

I've been on Wellbutrin at the same dosage for almost four months now. Took it at night for the first three before learning I should take it in the morning. After the first few days of taking it in the morning, I had some side effects of giddiness, irritability, excess energy, racing thoughts, and inexplicable laughter. That only lasted about three days though. Now I'm just back to feeling "blah" most of the time. Although last night and this morning I was overwhelmed by anxiety, probably partly because my boyfriend forgot my phone at work over the weekend, and I now have a 10.5 hour day to face without being able to contact him at all, and I know I have at least one unpleasant work phone call to make. I woke up around 3:30 in the morning, racked with anxiety, which, surprisingly [sarcasm], didn't improve in the two hours before I had to actually get up.

I keep thinking I should go back to my GP to change my meds. But I really wish I could get an evaluation first, and have a psych take over my meds. I keep going back and forth on whether I can wait the six weeks.
I have a LOT of other appointments I need to schedule. This is my last year with free insurance and I have hip and foot problems that cause neuropathy, glasses that keep falling off my face and aren't the right prescription, and a wisdom tooth poking out of my gums. I'm having a really hard time deciding which of these takes precedence. Today I'm thinking I will make a dentist appointment. I don't know how I'm not in excruciating pain yet, with tooth actually breaking the surface, but I anticipate the pain will start soon.

I don't know, I could probably get an appointment within a week or two at my GP. But at this point I'm not sure what good it will do. She'll either change my dosage or change the medication entirely, and she has no psychological workup to go off of. I feel like it will be another guess (I know it usually is anyway) and that it might even set me back before seeing the psychiatrist. What if she ups the dosage and it still doesn't work? Then it'll probably take longer to get it out of my system before starting something else. I imagine they won't want to start me on something new while I'm on the Wellbutrin, because then we wouldn't be able to isolate any possible side effects.
I just don't know. Will six weeks even be enough to get a good idea if a new medication will work anyway? I guess the safest bet would be to up my dosage, but I'm just not sure the Wellbutrin works at all.

I don't know, I have a really hard time making decisions when the consequences can't be known and could go either way. That's most decisions I guess, but usually I have some facts I can weigh out. In this case I don't know how to weigh it.

[Fizzyo]

Form what you're saying, work may not be the cause of your issues, but they are making it more stressful. Depression and fluctuating hormones can both cause forgetfulness.
I really feel for you with all these decisions to make. Maybe your GP can help you decide the priorities? How well does she know you.
I know in uk, mental health makes up a large proportion of GP workload and mine seems to be quite experienced. What they can be good at is looking at the overall picture and help you see what might be your health priority.

Best of luck, whatever you decide, I hope you can get the help you need most.