robbed of my will

I feel so lonely and emptied after inpatient treatment. i could have some of those things back, but i feel like i've been robbed of my will and of meaning in things. i feel just SO EMPTY and sad.

Did you feel less lonely and empty while in inpatient treatment?
On the whole, was the inpatient treatment valuable for you?

Loss of will is one of the primary characteristics of my personal experience of depression.

Im not sure how to evaluate the inpatient treatment. i did feel lonely and empty there too. in fact, its the meaning of the stay that made me feel loss of will (will to kill myself but my whole life was more or less spinning around that). Life is more empty than before now.

My girlfriend inquired at her church and got me an RN 3x per week.
She cooked for me. Made sure I took my meds. Watched TV with me. My husband works in China so he couldn't be with me.
I felt lost and empty. It helped to have her there. My friends also called or emled each day too.

Do you have any sort of access to a therapist or counselor?
If you can't afford, you could try your local mental health advocacy group or public health office. In my locale, there is a small local NAMI affiliate. They are always willing to help and have suggestions for community resources, low or no cost. They also might host a local support group give you some in person people to commune with.
I know even when I feel awful and have to drag myself to her office, I feel better after talking things out, setting a few very doable goals with my therapist. I know I am lucky that my therapist has after hours calls. So I can call her at home if I am in crisis. Many therapists will also do sliding scale payments based on income.

I hope you feel better.

I keep seeing the MHC inpatient treatment therapist. she's nice but doesnt seem able to help me...

As an inpatient treatment therapist, it is possible she is used to working toward a limited goal of stabilising patients, of getting them out of "unsafe" states. You may need to work with a different kind of therapist, one focused on improving your condition.

Does your health care system offer you the possibility of meeting with therapists on an outpatient basis?

you might be right, but she is the one they offer me as outpatient therapist.... and i like her, but she just doesnt seem able to help

i know that empty feeling! after being on the psych ward and coming home afterwards it didn't sink in until after i was released. i don't have a job and am on disability which makes me feel useless and i do want a job but i am so bad off i could never handle one again. i think that is what causes my emptiness. i feel for you and hope and pray you feel better.

im in about the same situation. its comforting to feel understood even though im sorry for you are in the same place. wish you the best too.

In the past when it didn't seem like employment was something I could handle or get was volunteer. There's no paycheck of course. But I set when and how much I went in and if i didn't feel like going at all, I just called to tell them. Even that wasn't required though. It gave me a reason to get up and get out of the house.

Most people think of volunteering as unpleasant at a hospital or nursing home. In reality pretty much every non profit org in the USA needs volunteers, including mental health charities. I volunteered in the government archive. Also, most public libraries always need people. Quiet and simple, short tasks available. If they ask you to do something you don't want to, simply politely decline and request something better suited to you. As a volunteer you are very much in control of what you do, at what pace, and how often.

Although I didn't get a job at the archive, I did get a glowing recommendation from the archivist emeritus and experience that later helped me secure paying employment.