[dexter]

The combination of snow and depression is horrible, reminds me of how alone I am stuck at home alone.

My heart health is an issue and I have plenty of friends caring for me enough to warn me to be careful and not to overdo it shoveling. But of course no one who can actually help me out. I have to shovel so that I can get out of the house and work and take care of myself. I do it in small bits... I started today and hope I'll be cleared out in time to go to work on Tuesday, I'm already taking Monday off.

But I want to tell everyone to F'Off, I'm doing the best I can. I made a joke in bad taste last week at work that my plan was to have a heart attack shoveling and be done with it. I do not want to have a heart attack, so I can only shovel about 5 or 10 minutes at a time. I'm about a quarter way through my driveway hope to maybe do one more session tonight before calling it quits. Tears are freezing to my face while I'm outside.

[lavendersage]

[dexter]

I've been trying to make plans during the week to keep myself from isolating and worsening my depression. Last week's plan involved having a friend over on Wednesday and being a part of a road trip on Saturday (today). I volunteered to drive for the road trip so that I wouldn't be able to back out. Next Thursday is my birthday and I'm planning dinner in Manhattan... Feeling very anxious about it but hoping that forcing myself to be with people will be better than being alone.

Road trip today--cancelled due to snowstorm.

Thursday birthday--apprehensive because I don't know if I'll be able to dig my way clear to my street by then. I can shovel tomorrow and a part of Monday, but I'm supposed to be working at home on Monday and Tuesday I have to be at work even if that means hitching a ride with someone else.

If I can't dig my own car out I won't be able to go to Manhattan on Thursday. There's an event in Manhattan that is sort of a big deal and I'm piggybacking my birthday onto that to make sure I have people there.

Last Wednesday's meetup, the guy cancelled, proving that I need an extraneous event to get someone to visit me.

[Angelique67]

I hope you'll be able to keep your plans for Thursday.

[PurpleLily4]

I hope you can keep your plans too. Is there anyone in neighborhood you could pay to help with the snow?

[lavendersage]

did you get the PM I sent you the other day about a place to call Monday?

[dexter]

I will probably be digged out by Thursday. Just feeling very negative about the whole thing.

[dexter]

Originally Posted by lavendersage

did you get the PM I sent you the other day about a place to call Monday?

Thank you lavendar... I hadn't even realized I was receiving PMs. I'm out of practice on the forum.

I'll give that a try. First though I did find another source with a list of doctors that take my insurance and I hope to start calling them tomorrow to see if they are on my plan.