[ParkerLauit]

So pretty much my parents have caught me with weed once and they took all of my stuff away and grounded me for a few months. Things got really bad and they got me a theorpist, things were great for a while, i was ungrounded and stuff and just today my mom found a water bottle full of wiskey in my room. She and my step dad are so angry/disapointed. My mom doesnt even want to look at me. After gaining their trust back after the weed this whole situation just set me back to square one again. My mom currently will not tell me when my grounding is over. The thing that messes me up the most is my mom thinks that im a liar and that the theorpist didnt help at all so she told me im not seeing her anymore. plus i cant talk to my best friend whos name is abbey on the phone (like i do every night for hours upon hours) which makes my days so much better becuase she talks through things with me and stuff. I cant talk to my parents becuase the think everything i say is complete bull-Sh#t. What should it do? how should i cope with these feelings of saddess, despair, lonliness, hopelssness, and abandonment? Please help! Thanks so much
-Parker

[Fizzyo]

Hi ParkerLauit,

Welcome to psych central. Thank you for sharing with us.

It is hard to mend relationships, but possible, if you really want to. It looks as if your Mom loves you and is scared for you. Grounding you is probably all she can think of to keep you safe.

Trust needs to be earned, so if you want her to trust you again, you will want to show her in small ways where you can be trusted. Studying may be a good way to start.

Maybe start to talk to her about how you can keep yourself safe when the grounding is lifted?

Do you want to be safe? Weed and alcohol can be dangerous, especially in a young brain.
When your brain is fully grown (age 21 to 25) then these things may or not be ok for you. They can both cause severe mental illness in a young, developing brain. I personally know a couple of people who had severe mental illness apparently triggered by using weed, (hallucinations, delusions etc. Which didn't go away) and modern varieties can be much stronger.

Are the people you hang out with helpful if they encourage you to use these things?

It will take baby steps, but I hope you can start to rebuild your relationship with your Mom. If you stop using mind altering substances, therapy is more likely to help and you may be allowed to restart it. It's all part of earning trust.

Good luck and keep yourself as safe as you can. You're important here, and to your Mom.

[Fizzyo]

❤️

[dexter]

Couldn't have said anything better than Fizzyo. Please take care of yourself ParkerLauit and give your relationship with your Mom time to mend. This will require a sincere effort to stay away from weed and alcohol both while you are grounded and afterward.

[Ocean Swimmer]

Great advice from all.
I'd like to add, when quiting somethings you need to replace them with other things.
So instead of weed, for example take up the Food Babe web site and learn to eat better.
For example instead of whiskey, lift weights or take up a sport.
It takes 21 days in a row to establish a new habit.
Pura Vida from sunny Costa Rica.

[A Mothers Heartache]

Originally Posted by ParkerLauit

So pretty much my parents have caught me with weed once and they took all of my stuff away and grounded me for a few months. Things got really bad and they got me a theorpist, things were great for a while, i was ungrounded and stuff and just today my mom found a water bottle full of wiskey in my room. She and my step dad are so angry/disapointed. My mom doesnt even want to look at me. After gaining their trust back after the weed this whole situation just set me back to square one again. My mom currently will not tell me when my grounding is over. The thing that messes me up the most is my mom thinks that im a liar and that the theorpist didnt help at all so she told me im not seeing her anymore. plus i cant talk to my best friend whos name is abbey on the phone (like i do every night for hours upon hours) which makes my days so much better becuase she talks through things with me and stuff. I cant talk to my parents becuase the think everything i say is complete bull-Sh#t. What should it do? how should i cope with these feelings of saddess, despair, lonliness, hopelssness, and abandonment? Please help! Thanks so much
-Parker

Hi Parker. Well, I'd say that your in up to your ears alright but it isn't hopeless but I'm sure it seems that way. I know not all parents are the same. I know. I'm a parent of adult kids so I've been through it already. It may seem like they will never look at you the same or ever trust you again. But they will. I think it might help if you were to try to put yourself in their shoes. Here you are smoking reefer and drinking booze. Your mom and dad want you safe and healthy and reefer and booze don't exactly scream safe and healthy do they. More than being angry I would say they are worried and, yes, hurt. Well Parker, I'm here to tell you that people don't worry about other people unless they generally care about that person. No doubt you will have to earn their trust back over time, and please, avoid kissing up to them, we parents really get turned off by that because we know it holds no sincerety. Your, I'm assuming, still a minor unable to care for yourself out in the big, and often times mean, world. This means following the rules. Once your working and out on your own and of legal age you can do as you will and I hope your smart about it cause you may think your mom and step dad are tough but things can get even tougher in the real world. I'm sorry about your friend Abbey but under the circumstances I think you're going to have to ride this out. But, while you are in this situation why not find a hobby or 2, help around the house here and there? For one thing time will pass faster and I'm sure your mom and step dad would appreciate it even if they don't show it at first. And Parker? When you do regain their trust again, and you will, don't break it. Being trusted is an honor and a responsibility. So don't feel hopeless. Feel hopeful because they care enough to lay the hammer down. That's love Parker. Tell me. What is so hopeless about love? Your situation will pass and you will still be loved and cared about. That's a whole lot to be hopeful for in my book. ~D~