[*freak*]

I'm so depressed I don't care about anything. I'm unemployed so I have no reason to get out of bed. I can't find a single reason to get up in the morning, I only do so because I have to go pee. Then the day starts and I'm filled with absolute dread at the thought of having to survive until I can go to sleep again. Since I don't have to leave the house I try to structure my days with productive tasks but I'm struggling to find a reason to do them. I have an eating disorder and it takes all the willpower I can muster to not binge on junk food all day. But why shouldn't I binge all day? I have several affirmations that I'm supposed to repeat to myself, such as "I love myself and my body, so I feed it nourishing foods" but the truth is I don't love myself or my body. I don't care about health at the moment. It all seems meaningless. I don't want a better life. I don't want to better myself. I don't even want to live. How do I get back to caring about myself and my life? I have no one, no relatives or friends that would benefit from a better version of me either. No one cares. I try to care about myself, I just can't find a reason to do anything. Please help me, my eating disorder is killing me and I need to find a reason to at least try to eat healthy. How do you all get back to taking care of yourself when you just couldn't care less about anything at all?

[vonmoxie]

I don't know the answer, as I struggle at times with the same questions. I get discouraged easily, I get overwhelmed by not knowing where to start with the plethora of problems that populate my life.. What does help with me is just giving myself the space to experience whatever it is that a depressive episode is there to teach me though. Which is to say, accepting that it's a part of my life and as such is serving some organic purpose however mysterious, and that it's much better for me to respect the existence of my depression however much a struggle it might be than it is for me to demonize it. That's what works better for me anyway. Acceptance doesn't have to represent complacency or submission.

Something else to consider: there has been research pointing to positive affirmations having the potential to be counter-productive, if they feel out of reach or inauthentic to a person; maybe start with something smaller? I couldn't guess at what might be more authentic for you, but if it was me (and I am in the process of improving my physical health with regard to weight and better nutrition, however slowly).. I might go for something along the lines of "it's within my power to ignore this hunger pang, just for the rest of this day". Similar to how those in AA talk about addressing their sobriety just one day at a time.

Good luck

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you are feeling so desperate. The feeling is certainly familiar to me though. I don't know as I have any particularly useful suggestions for you. In my case, when I have felt this way, I just kept muddling along until the despair eased... except that in a couple of cases my despair ended in periods of involuntary hospitalization. I always imagine that if I could just find something that I simply love to do, regardless of anything, it might carry me over the difficult times. I'm an older person though, & the amount of time I have left to find such a thing is getting shorter-&-shorter. I've been doing increasing amounts of reading recently with regard to Buddhism. I don't know if this is the vehicle I'm seeking or not. Time will tell...

[Fuzzybear]

(No answers, I'm sending hugs )

[leroysavoy]

Avoid trying to open do productive tasks for now. Try to set up morning rituals. One ritual per 30 days. For me it's meditation 30 mins in the morning. Your morning routine sets the structure and tonality for the rest of your day.

Look into if it fits your macro diet. It allows you to eat your junkfood while still dieting. It's not the best diet but it's a great start. As long as you hit your protein, carbs, and fats.

What you are going through is called rumination. It comes from thinking of the past or future. It creates emotional stress called distress. Research shows the best way to break rumination is through distraction such as meditation, being social, going outdoors etc. The distraction creates awareness which is one of the most important things in life.

[elevatedsoul]

[*freak*]

Thanks everyone