Feeling a bit lost

Things haven't been as bad over the last few days. I constantly feel tired but I've managed to leave the house. A really good friend of mine let me borrow her car for a few days and that made a big difference. But this is what has made me over think things also.

I have some truly amazing friends, people who have been nothing but kind and supportive to me. But I've realised that back when I did have a car of my own, and the last few days, I'm the one that goes to visit people, they never come to visit me. I have a friend who will travel to see friends 50 miles away but won't come to my house 3 miles away. I always try and keep in touch with people but it's never the other way round and I don't know how this makes me feel. I could just be over thinking as I often do, but it makes me wonder if I'm the person who gets on people's nerves and that's why they don't keep in touch or come and visit. There's no real answer to this but it makes me realise who I am thankful to have in my life.

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Probably over thinking it.

It is hard to figure out who the true friends are. I kind of have buckets I put them in. One guy I really don't expect anything from but I am willing to be friends with him. He has helped me a lot in the past but he always has a selfish angle.

In my experience us guys are not good about staying in touch with each other. Some friends I have that I may not have seen or talked to in 10 years but when we do get together it is like we never missed a beat. Like we have been hanging out everyday for weeks or something. I have kind of taken that as a sign that they are true friends. Some friends male and female there is no doubt in my mind will be there for me even if they don't call or I don't call and make much effort. People have jobs, families, lots of things going on that have nothing to do with me and I try not to take it personally. I get lonely though. I ***** that they haven't called me and they ***** that I haven't called them.

I have heard that if you have two or three very close friends consider yourself lucky. Most are going to be in one of those other buckets.

makes me wonder if I'm the person who gets on people's nerves and that's why they don't keep in touch or come and visit Do you invite them and then they turn you down? I rather expect not.