[troubledteacher]

I have been battling depression since I was a young teenager. I can remember looking at other teens in my class and wondering why they had a happiness that I never seemed to grasp.

However, I am 27 years old now and married. Many things have changed since I first was diagnosed. I spent years of my teen years going through some very dark times, and I even attempted suicide several times. However, when I finally got older, I started anti-depressants to help. Prior to that, I never wanted to take anything, because my mother referred to them negatively as merely "happiness in a bottle".

Despite being married and being a full time teacher, I have never been able to shake the depression. Some day are harder than others, but when things are not going well, it is very difficult to not think back on all the failed attempts I had growing up. It is hard to ignore the literal scars on my arms.

Does it ever get better? Will I ever fully recover from this, or will it always just be a matter of getting through one day or one week?

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Troubledteacher.

Regarding long-term or recurring depression (not other types) my experience and observations fill me with pessimism. It's a bit like living on the tundra. Some days - even seasons - will be warmer and others much cooler, but you're still living on the tundra; you can try planting date palms, but it would be more practical developing ice-fishing skills.

Of course, over time you could get so good at ice fishing that you rarely think about the fact you're living on the tundra.

Make yourself at home here. May others with far more optimism reply to you.

[Evaluna]

I've been struggling with this on and off for about 8 years. I go through periods where it's like there's nothing wrong with me and I enjoy my life, then other times when I feel like I can't get any lower and I'm not sure how I can get through the next hour never mind the day.

I've learnt now to grasp the good times and enjoy them, and when the bad times hit just take it one step at a time. It's so hard but everyone is different. I've recently opened up to a small number of people and this has helped me.immensly. I don't see me ever being recovered from this but I hope that one day the lows aren't that bad.

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[Gaar]

One moment at a time is the mindfulness mantra. I have been crippled inside for decades. Humpty Dumpty fell without being made whole again. What about those who were born fractured?

What helps me make life more bearable is exercise and trying to help others.