[Nimportequoi]

For me, it's eight years. Atypical depression, but I also experience recurring phases of major depression.
I've been recently looking on a photo of me which has been taken before I got depressed. I was almost shocked by the energy and joy in my face. That person on the photo, I wpuld like to get to know. Today's me- no one would like to know me. Don't remember how it is to feel joy on a regular basis, to not feel despaired...

[i dont matter]

Forever is a simplistic answer - but kind of true. I have memories of wanting to end it all at age 5. But certainly there have been positive times too.

Currently I would say in pretty deep depression for about 6 years now.

[elevatedsoul]

was recently diagnosed as severe mdd recurrent without psychotic features...
been dealing with depression my whole life, since i was able to walk, literally...
i had about a year where i couldn't feel anything, i dont remember any of it either, because i was on a lot of drugs that doped me up beyond what i thought a doctor would dope me...

its hard dealing with depression, it takes certain aspects of ourselves and mangles it... twists and corrupts our view of ourselves...

you are still the same person... its just that you are deeply upset...
we have to try to work through the hurt and get to our true selves...

its a war... but wars can be won...

keep fighting... educate yourself as much as possible..

About 6 years since I first thought "I feel so bad I'd rather not live anymore". I'm not sure how long before that I was 'simply' feeling bad.

Maybe 7 or 8 years...feels like forever.

Life happens where we are robbed of our innocence of purity, of trusting and believing others... some come and take that away from us in many different ways. My mind is still 16 years old but my body is older and limited. I try to stay as independent as possible and do things for myself... to retain my independent living. The minute you stop you lose it so i have to just keep going. Your energy does lower but more longe consistantcy. I don't like to look at photographs cause they can be upsetting, they remind me we are mortal, we have a limitation to our being here. I use that for a way to fight depression by making the most of everyday and doing a much as i can to feel more fulfilled while i am able to. (((hugs))) hang in there, it does get better

[qwerty68]

Roughly 21 years.

My self-esteem issues go back as far as I remember.

[EnglishDave]

Officially, since I was 9/10 - about 45 years. When I was 19 I was dxed with a Depressive Personality Disorder. There have been a few short Ups, mostly followed by great periods of guilt and self-punishment, and some very good days which have always been followed by major crashes.

If I had to quantify on a scale of 0 to -10, -7 is my norm. -4 is a distraction filled, low physical pain day. -9 is my darkest depths.

Dave.

[catnip123]

Officially for about 30 years (on and off ). But I think I was depressed way back to high school at least

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

I started having depressive type thoughts around age 9 or 10; contemplated suicide for the first time around age 11. I'll be 22 in a couple months.

[Nimportequoi]

First of all- thank you all for answering. It makes me feel less alone. I always feel like an Alien, because, "depression" surely is a topic that you can here about in the media from time to time, but the way it is described in there: You may be depressed for one or two years in your life, but that's it. Since I am depressed for much longer, this image put a feeling of hopelessness and loneliness on me: even among depressives I'm a freak.
Hm, some of you have written you felt depressed on and of from childhood on. I certainly can relate to that. I have memories going back to when I was moving in with my parents in a new house, and I know we moved there when I was three years old. And these memories I have are ridden with a deep sense of emotional pain, self hatred and guilt.
But, I couldn't say wether I was depressed in the common sense as a child, because as a child, it was like the deep pain I am feeling now was already there, but I could put it in a drawer, lock it away in my mind, and be happy in some kind of way. (does this make sense??).

When I was 19 I was dxed with a Depressive Personality Disorder.

@ Dave wow, do you agree on the diagnosis? My official diagnosis-thingy is AvPD which I agree upon, but I identify as DPD a lot. Hm, I think one of the major conflicts of my life is feeling to be a helpless, inept person. If I accomplish something, I will think it has been a simple task, bc if it was not, I could not have done it. Therefore it's nothing to be proud of. And all the things I don't do because I think I am not capable to- it makes me feel inferior that my decision to do something or not is based on how much I fear to fail with it, and not on how much I wish to accomplish a certain thing. Also, sense of general ineptitiude makes my life very spartanic, because of all the things I keep avoiding to try bc "I can't do it anyway...." I wish there was a forum for Depressive PD. I was searching for something likewise across the internet, but since it has been taken from the DSM, it seems to be forgotten.
Anyway, thank y'all again for answering and sharing.

[Raindropvampire]

32 years first suicide attempt at age 7. Then diagnosed bipolar in my late 20's early 30's but YAY !!! for me suicidally depressed is my baseline.

[Nimportequoi]

Hello Rainy
Sounds like you're even worse than me. I first contemplated death at age 15.
Thanke you for sharing as well.