[dexter]

I reached out to several friends tonight to let them know that I found a therapist.

Everyone of course was happy to hear the good news, but many of them included that they had been "thinking of me".

I HATE when people say that when I'm suffering from depression. Because you know what? If you've been thinking of me, I have NOT been thinking of you. I've been sitting alone while you are out enjoying your life with your friends and family wondering just exactly what I've done in my 50 years to **** up my life so much that I'm here alone and suffering alone with no one to hold my hand or just be here with me. Thinking of me is not being present in any way shape or form.

Tonight's rant brought to you by weeks of festering unfettered depression. I do truly appreciate my friends, many of which have been very supportive, and I do love them. I can't rant to them but I can rant here, I think. I hope.

[dexter]

And I am happy to finally have a therapist and truth is it made me feel happy to be able to share this news with my friends. I guess my depression just won't let me have a moment.

[lavendersage]

Rant on dexter! I hear you. Instead of "thinking of me"....how about taking 30 seconds to send me a text, or 5 minutes to call and check in with me? I get that people have their own lives, troubles, "stuff". But when you KNOW somebody's struggling and you supposedly care about them.....seriously? You can't spare even 1 minute of your time? But the whole "I was thinking of you" is supposed to make us feel better?

Sorry. I don't buy that. I think it's to make THEM feel better.

[dexter]

It's like guilt in retrospect for not doing any of those things. Thanks a lot.

[lavendersage]

You're welcome. I hope the therapist is a gem for you. You deserve some peace, to heal, a break.

[guiltier65]

I agree Dexter, if you know i'm struggling give me a hug, send me a text or let me know you care whether or not I fall of this rapidly tilting planet. Don't tell me after the fact that you've been "thinking of me". What does that even mean?!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by guiltier65

What does that even mean?!

That's a really damned good question.

It has the feel and stench of shaking hands with a corpse.

Or maybe a 'high five' with a corpse.

Either way, you're going to end up with a "not so fresh feeling" all over. I just left my doc's office and overheard my T-doc and psychopharmacologist have a disagreement for the first time. Pretty interesting. I just wish that I could've heard heard

[dexter]

Thank you for all of the support everyone. I thought I would have a lot of dissenters so I'm glad to know others feel this way too, it isn't just me being unappreciative.

On the other hand I did receive an unsolicited email today from a friend who is not nearby saying she was thinking of me. This one hit me in a very positive fashion... I think because it wasn't a response to contact from me and therefore didn't feel like a guilt reflex. Felt sincere and gave me a positive vibe. Also this person has been very generous with the hugs and letting me talk frankly about my feelings without offering a single bit of cliched advice at times when we are together.

[lavendersage]

Originally Posted by dexter

Thank you for all of the support everyone. I thought I would have a lot of dissenters so I'm glad to know others feel this way too, it isn't just me being unappreciative.

On the other hand I did receive an unsolicited email today from a friend who is not nearby saying she was thinking of me. This one hit me in a very positive fashion... I think because it wasn't a response to contact from me and therefore didn't feel like a guilt reflex. Felt sincere and gave me a positive vibe. Also this person has been very generous with the hugs and letting me talk frankly about my feelings without offering a single bit of cliched advice at times when we are together.

thanks be to the universe for those people

[dexter]

I spoke with one of my friends today (the spouse of the one who sent the email today) and yes thank the universe for these people. This bout of depression came on me very suddenly and very quickly and if it weren't for these two and a few others I don't think I"d have hung on this long.

[dexter]

Also very thankful for the people here on PC... Who understand.

Yo dex, We have mutual feelings man, I can totally understand. Always here with you at PC to listen to you. To understand and value your sentiments.

[dexter]

Another unsolicited email today from the same person:

"I know you are in a tough place. Just wanted to send you a little bit of caring"

I started to cry at work a little when I read this, it was a good thing, I was actually having a very difficult day.

When I'm feeling better I will collaborate with this person on writing a guidebook on "What To Say And Do And Not Say And Not Do When You Don't Know What To Say Or Do."

[elevatedsoul]

keep fighitng...
its great to have someone reach out with a little support..

[with or without you]

I know what you mean

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[dexter]

Thank you everyone.